Pins and needles

This week I went back to acupuncture - I went before I was last in the hospital and it really did a world of good for my head back then and have high hopes for it again... I know it is cumulative so I will stick with it and give it a go! This week was a little hard as I went there from therapy and it was a rough session for me.
I am working hard to get my head back in the healing game... That said ED has been kicking me lately, restricting sucks! But more difficult for me is the exercise I don't seem to be able to "keep it reasonable" worst was today when in a kettlebell class I hit my knee with the bell and continue through the class AND THE NEXT ONE with a throbbing swollen knee...
Alas baby steps right? And at least I am recognizing it!

I have started doing little poetries again! I hope you enjoy!!

As luck would have it

The hubster was craving oatmeal and Katie http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2010/07/17/breakfast-sundae-school/ was having an oatmeal sundae contest all at the same time so I killed two birds with one stone (eww why do I want to kill birds?) and made him an oatmeal sundae . Included in this masterpiece (if I may call it that) is oatmeal (cooked with a naner don't tell the hubs), chocolate sauce because it isn't a cck sundae without chocolate, a peanut butter "whipped cream" dollop (since hubster doesn't like anything actually resembling whipped cream) some if my homemade crazy-Nola that I swear he only eats because I put m&m's in there (along with whatever crap sugar coated cereal he has in the cabinets) and a "cherry" made if an m&m. And the best part? He actually said that everything about this breakfast was perfect "right amount right combo right texture..." I may keel over and die! Thanks Katie for helping me think outside the old box on this one!

There is something...

Have you ever just seen someone and been drawn to them? Not necessarily in a romantic way but just drawn? Well this man does it to me. I first saw him a couple months ago walking down the street in Brookline looking much like this and I wanted to take his picture - there is something so timeless about him and I just wanted it captured. Well before I could get my wits about me he was gone ( he is a speedy little bugger ) this has happened a few times since then and each time I miss him, well the other day I saw him and my camera was already primed so I snapped a quicky as he walked by. And I think it is perfect! You can see his mission, his drive, his purpose if you will. I wonder what stories he has to tell... In his honor I am naming my most recent Popsicle creation spice of life pops - give 'em a try you won't regret it.

Spice of life pops
3/4 cup buttermilk (real or dairy free/homemade or store bought)
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons water
Juice of 1 orange
2 tablespoons zest of orange
1 teaspoon vanilla
Good dash of cinnamon
1/3 cup sweetener (I use splenda)

Combine and freeze either in Popsicle molds or in an ice cube tray. Enjoy

Lend me a hand

I had a friend named brother blue - he was a storyteller. The hubster loved him and many many all over admired and respect him. He passed away and although I went to his wake ED kept me from his funeral and parade (body image). Well yesterday I had to go to healthworks in porter square instead of my normal Brookline location (renovations) and on the way out I noticed a grocery store and thought I would stop in looking for the ever elusive taro (another pop recipe I made up) and although I didn't find taro I found an exhibit of the parade props for blue. His beautiful hand with it's perfect butterfly on it. I needed it yesterday as I have been struggling a lot lately - I know I am slipping and have been brutally honest about it with my team I know I don't want to go down this road again. So thanks blue I needed your wisdom "ONE MORE TIME!"

How I see it

I have so many things I think of to post but then I think to myself "joy, who really wants to hear that?" so what I have decides is even if they are stupid little things I am just going to bop them up and maybe they will be what someone needs ( even if that someone is me and what I need is to get it off my chest)

The other day I donated my glasses that I have had for 8 years I have had a few new pairs since then (thank you zennioptical.com and eyebuydirect.com) but I just didn't want to part with my old faithfuls - they were a security blanket for me. I got married in them I said goodbye to loved ones in them I welcomed Tyler into this world with them and somehow never wearing them again made me sad. Until I saw a box that had words of affirmation on all 4 sides and on one side it said "joy" and the next one said "donate your glasses here" and I knew that was the universes way of telling me it was time to let someone else have a little of my view of the world! I did give them a little photo shoot before I let them go - this is my favorite of the photos.

Do you get attached to silly things?
I certainly do - my mom used to say I humanize everything remind me to tell you about the gingerbread cookie someday...

I created

I am so in awe of myself at the moment! I had been making whipped the blog's lemon buttermilk Popsicles (well my version - making soy milk buttermilk with lemon and using splenda rather than sugar) but today I decided I wanted a different flavor so I decided I wanted to try either watermelon or cocoa. Watermelon won out and this recipe was created

WATERMELON BUTTERMILK POPSICLES

2 cups watermelon purée (created with ~4 cups watermelon in the food processor)

1 cup regular or nondairy buttermilk

3/4 cup sugar or splenda

1 tablespoon lemon juice

Blend and put in Popsicle molds - this made a shitton and I molded 6 pops and a full tray of ice cubes...

Enjoy and if you make em tell me what you think...

Views

Parking at the gym the other day I was greeted with this view. I knew I wanted to share it and felt that there was SOMETHING here, I just couldn't figure out what. Then today (after being woken up at an ungodly hour by the in laws because they wanted to know what time to come over for fourth of July stuff - does no one follow the 9 to 9 rule nomore?) I decided to just start blogging so I chose my picture and jumped into Photoshop (I love my iPhone though that is a post for another day) to edit this and I went to effects and got busy I added rainbow and made it black and white I tried vignette and a quad and none of it made this picture better. And maybe that was the lesson this photo was supposed to teach me (and you) that maybe we are better just the way we are and we don't need alterations. I don't want to be a depressing blog - though those days do happen to the best of us but this is a lesson I need right now. I am not in my best ED state of mind lately (actually in therapy hospitalization came up and I am trying to avoid that) so the timing was appropriate.

Still alive

Still working... Just had about a zillion computer and phone problems. Will be back tomorrow with a real post - and perhaps some changes/ideas for the blog... Meanwhile I hope you all are well

WOW!

I often will see a recipe on a blog and flag it for future making (most of the time that future doesn't come)but last week I saw this post and KNEW these had to be made, and right away! And well Yeah I was right! I made a half batch yesterday after stopping at the dollar store and picking up popsicle molds (yup I am that kind of classy) and the grocery store to get some lemons and some Powdered buttermilk (never used buttermilk before and figured the powdered would last longer and I could make other things with it if these were a bust). Well I got home and went straight to making them, I admit to tasting the batter and thinking how the heck am I going to survive for 5 hours until I can eat them AND contemplating running back to the store to get another set of molds so I could have a full batch. So that worrying and cheaping out on ingredients? Yeah NO worries they are a hit, even the hubster loved them! They are almost as good as my beloved boyo and so refreshing! And now I am thinking of all the possibilities. Would grapefruit work (I LOVE me some grapefruit)? What about blueberries and lemon zest? A friend wants me to try strawberry, and I just thought what about a cran orange? This could be a new obsession.

So I tweaked the recipe a bit
I used
2 3/4 tablespoons powdered buttermilk
2/3 cup water
mix mix mix
add in 1/3 cup splenda (well cheapo store brand I reiterate classy isn't my middle name)
zest of one whole lemon (I didn't feel like measuring) and the juice of that same lemon (again no measuring)
stir stir
add in the teeniest bit of salt
and pour into 8 molds (I think they are about 1 ounce each)

According to my calculations they are about 10 calories each!
Yeah that's my kind of summer snack

On a separate note the lovely hubster bought me a new laptop for school and so I will be able to blog more regularly because I won't have to wait 10 years for my 6 year old dell desktop to turn on everytime I want to type anything. I am hoping for 3 times a week, I really don't think I am anymore interesting than that!

Have a great day!

And now Emily is having a giveaway

It has been a couple of days since I last checked in and that was mostly because I had checked out of the world for a few - basically hubster and I got into an arguement and I never handle them well. I was all ready to throw in the towel and call the divorce lawyer as I am every time we fight because as my therapist reminded me today I am so afraid of people leaving me that I throw them out. This is so true in my life -- I have almost no connections with family for fear of them choosing to leave or dying. I can cut friends out without a second thought (although I may miss them ME choosing when they leave is so much better than the alternative to me) even pupster isn't immune to this for me. When he does something *gasp* doglike I seriously think OMG it is time for him to go - HA without him I have no reason to wake up in the morning, that stub is all I need to make the worst day be pretty darn good. And well hubster, pupster and I had a talk last night and we are all a little happier!
AND EMILY IS HAVING A GIVEAWAY
http://eatventures.wordpress.com/2010/06/16/a-great-could-be-greek-giveaway/#comment-2775

Mish is having a giveaway

I think you should check it out!
http://eatingjourney.com/2010/06/15/in-love-with-these-the-silver-maple-giveaway/#comment-7781

I am craving this:
http://thesilvermaple.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1&products_id=52
Tell me you have ever seen a prettier necklace!

Multimedia message

When life rains down on you how do you handle? Do you get an umbrella and pretend it isn't happening? Do you do nothing and wallow in it? Do you smartly redirect it into a beautiful fountain? Normally I (well I would like to say) I redirect it... Yesterday I was wallowing in it. I just had a horrible day starting from not being able to do my normal morning routine with my father in law, to a friend who needed to reschedule, to not being able to get in the gym because I didn't have my card, to my gps not working, to finding a dirty drunk homeless man fallen out of his wheelchair and helping him up and scratching my arm on his dirty wheelchair... And if all that didn't make me hate this day enough I get a phone call that my godmom fell and broke her hip... All on a day that the hubster was having a self focused day and couldn't've been bothered to support me. Needless to say it was not a success of a day and ED won a lot of it...

The happy week

Mish is having a happy week this week and invited all of her readers to join her...

So I give to you MY happy week:
* Seeing friends (once I am there I enjoy it talking myself into going not so much)
* The pupster
* The hubster
* A nice workout
* a perfect sunny day
* frozen yogurt (but the body says no)
* My wedding band (it is such a reflection of me)
* Notes in the mail
* Making jewelry
* Giving gifts
* a good salad
* a massage
* a nice walk
* sitting by the fire
* accomplishing something (pretty much anything since I never do)
* going to bed
* the ache of a good workout
* getting a good deal
* Healthworks
* Blogs
* BoYo (try their sorbet YUM)
* My new Champion stride and trims (whether or not they actually do anything I FEEL like I am working more)

What about you - what makes you happy?

Speechless

I am not often rendered speechless, a trait I inherited from my mother who had a comeback for EVERYTHING!

But a few times in the last 2 days I have just not been able to utter a word.

~ Driving down one of the main streets of my town and seeing a man in his mid-20s walking calmly down the road CARRYING AN AXE! Really?!?

~ My dog got stung by a dozen bees yesterday and WHILE they were stinging him he came and listened while I told him to sit and cleared them off of him...

~ Healthworks is amazing and leaves me speechless...

~ Today I saw a friend of mine who is homeless and got a quick catch-up

~ Saunas - seriously saunas are the best thing ever!

~ Running into someone from my past in a bad place.... (where I was in my head not the location)

~ A weird quazi-conversation with a family member that left me feeling like I had done something wrong.

And this Tree:
This tree fell on Comm Ave during the tornados (okay really need I remind you I live in New England peeps there is no tornados here)

And check out this giveaway
http://eatingjourney.com/2010/06/09/a-happy-giveaway/

Wow - now that's some wind

I was at the wonderful Healthworks today and while I was there it was apparently pouring and windy out - well I didn't know I was comfy and cozy inside - elliptical, bike, weights and a sauna and I was loving life! Well in the locker room (twice I just typed dressing room - freudian slip there) and another lady told me that there was a tree crossing Comm Ave not too far from where we were. And when I went out WOWIE it was so windy I am telling you I felt like I was in Kansas on my way to Oz... Seriously I kept looking for Toto!

I decided (in total me fashion) that I needed a sorbet at this moment so I figured it made sense to WALK an extra 2 miles IN A TORNADO warning to get it. Sometimes I have NO common sense, but I saw some amazing (not necessarily in a good way) sights and made it back to the car in one piece. However I am also EXHAUstED! Good night, hope your weekend was filled with wonderful safety.

Ummm yeah awkward

So today I drove in to healthworks for the first time to use my 14 day trial (review to come another day. And if I am being totally honest here (and why not because I think I am still alone here and this is my recovery blog so if I have to lie then that totally defeats the purpose, no?) I was having a very "behavior" day and was fighting ED on some turns but others (like working out hard) I was letting ED win. But overall I would classify this day as successful. ANYWAY, I do the little sign-up thing at the front desk and find out that there is cardio downstairs so that's where I head and I jump on a cool elliptical like machine and hit it hard and I am happy and listening to my iPod when I see a woman out of the corner of my eye and I am like "I know her, hmmm how?" and I can't figure it out so I chalk it up to she's a blogger and go on with my workout (PS they were playing New Moon on the DVD player - YAY but she looks at me and I can see that she is thinking the same thing that she knows me and I am rumbling around in my head with where did I meet her? Hmmm, maybe the blogger bash? Nah - maybe a store? Nope - OMG, she was a counselor at one of my last treatment places and at that moment she recognized me too. I looked down and kept pedaling but I was like damn wrong day to see me.

Ohhhh well, Healthworks is gorgeous!

Aerobic - 8 minute Abs (workout fitness)

This is seriously my favorite workout and has been for years! I started it back in the day and still love to rock it out when I need a "relaxer" workout - and actually my video is destroyed so I am SO excited that I found it on Youtube! If you give it a try let me know what you think of it!

Whose got monsters?

Green monster? I look at the green monsters in blogland and wonder if I would like them... Still not sure if I would be enjoying spinach in almond milk but matcha with soy milk and splenda? Now that's a monster I can get into... Speaking of monsters does anyone remember the book "there is a monster at the end of this book" I loved that book as a kid and recently found a copy at the thrift store... It is as cute as I remember - unfortunately the pupster doesn't appreciate a rousing rendition of Grover...

Catch up - Healthworks blogger bash

Well I certainly have a lot of catching up to do so much has happened since last I posted

First and foremost I went to a WONDERFUL healthworks blogger bash it was held at the fabulous liberty hotel and hosted by Ripe Drink Mixes and Double Cross Vodka. I actually didn't know what I was going to - I thought it was a get together with bloggers and readers of and her little dog too (one of my favorite blogs) but when I got to Alibi there was everyone. I had a great time meeting Leslie, Elina, Meghan, and some of the other great ladies there, and enjoyed a drink (which is something I NEVER do - can't stand the lack of control or the wasted calories) but I must say the strawberry drink they made was seriously the most delicious thing I have ever had to drink - actually if I were to get married all over again that would be my signature drink - it had the RIPE, Double cross vodka, a strawberry that was muddled in it and some fresh basil - holy summer in a glass! There was also all sorts of pizzas and appetizers but none for me. I had a drink and then water.

As the evening grew to a close at the hotel one of the LOVELY healthworks people gave me a swag bag even though I hadn't RSVP'd and am not of the caliber of the bloggers whose company I was enjoying. And HOLY COW what a bag it was.
In it was:
Siggi's yogurt coupons (and the whole thing was in a siggi's boat bag)
Popchips with great stats - whole small bag is only 100 calories (review shortly)
a 14 day pass to healthworks and a 50 minute massage there as well - I can NOT wait to try out the club - I lust after a healthworks membership!
A really cute sportsbra by Nux (review coming soon - wearing today for the first time)
a 20% off coupon to CitySports and an adorable t-shirt that I am loving!
A cut and color at a new salon on Newbury St. Rock Paper Scissors
Some fabulous oatmeal by Mad Hectic Oatmeal
A spray tan at SkinHealth Centers
A $35 gift certificate to Task Rabbit LOVE this service - write up coming soon
A gift certificate to EverSave
and
a gift certificate towards a custom Zyrra bra
Talk about amazing!

After all that fun I wasn't quite ready to go home yet so I stopped at BoYo and went for a walk around the city at midnight and was highly amused to see

in the middle of the night - no it wasn't an emergency it was just the best time of day for them to do it...