Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Beautiful blemish

If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them.
Author: Mohandas Gandhi

As I prepare to move from the only place I've ever called home I've gotten pretty sentimental.

Not for the square footage I'm giving up.
Not for the gorgeous floors.
Not even for THE TREE

But for the blemishes -

The stain on the ceiling from when baby A was startled walking into our hobby room and dropped her oj and it hit the ceiling. (she waited for me to yell - I never did, I laughed until there was nothing left in me)

The corner of my wood stairs where a young dog (my nephews) chewed his fears. (my mom taught me 2 things this day 1. Be smarter than the dog you are dealing with 2. Never tell someone what to be afraid of)

The wall where when the undertaker took my mom her knocked a corner. (this was the moment I ceased to exist in my own eyes)

The hidden paint behind the upstairs sink because a young nephew wanted to help me...

Mid breakdown I called my 8.5 month pregnant niece and asked her to come take pics so I could remember (as if I would ever forget) and she did! And she treated it ad solemnly as I needed her to. And then we went out and laughed about galaxies...

This got me thinking, what is it people love about you. Is it the perfection or the stain on the ceilings? And how can we embrace our own nicks?

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Last weekend

‘A child building a sandcastle is not "working hard". It doesn’t seem to him to be a task. It simply fills his imagination at the time ti’st going on, and anything else is an irritant.’
— Jonathan Miller

Was the sand castle competition at revere beach.

Hubster LOVES sand castles (actually I think he should compete in an amateur contest someday) so I surprised him and took him. Hello 90*, 80,000 people, and the loudest music I've ever heard! Basically a Joy recipe for disaster. But it wasn't, because I took myself out if the equation and made it all about hub and you know what?

I actually had a good time! It was great to watch hubster play in the water (yup he still PLAYS in the water) and watch him smile and laugh... It made me realize that that's what I'm missing, the living part of life. That's what I need to find! Ohhh but first I need to pack! I move in 5 days....

+++side note I saw what the interior designer (gift from the realtor) is planning on doing with the inside of the new house and holy sick is it gorgeous - its a magazine that I'll get to live in... (I'm still trying to convince myself that I did the right thing here)

+++do you love sand castles?+++

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Blogging on purpose

Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.

- Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

(catch the double meaning of my subject?)

Anyway, I have another post ready about politeness but this word PURPOSE keeps jumping in my head! So I'm gonna try and work it out here

I firmly believe that everyone/everything/every event we come across has a purpose for us. It may make us stronger, happier, more resilient or somehow better...

This week I've been on vacation in Lincoln new Hampshire (1 of my 3 favorite places on earth) the first day a friend had come up with me and about 18 hours in to a week long vacation she missed her boyfriend and left (not very pleasantly but alas her choice and loss). At the same time a stupid money decision on my behalf was crashing down on poor hubster. I was able to fix it from up here but not without inconveniencing a lot of people.

What was the purpose of these events?

Well I think the friend wad to teach me to remember my audience...
And the $ was to assure me that moving to the cardboard box (which I have renamed the wee house because I've sort of fallen in love with it and want to show it the respect it deserved - SIDE NOTE why do people name their cars but not their houses? I mean our cars are misty and buzz...) was the right move for us!

So 2 days later I am in a bit of a financial quandary and call my friend Laura for advice (can't ask hubster because it's about his birthday). I felt like I needed advice because earlier in the week I'd made such a big oops (which she knows all the deets of) so I give her my options
-spend the (lesser) $ now and pray I am okay until closing
- wait until closing and pray it hasn't tripled in cost (a very real possibility)

She replied with an option I hadn't come up with - she'd loan me the $ and I'd pay her after closing.
Now I had JUST finished telling her how I'd screwed up earlier and she said she knew but she also knows that I'll pay her back so let's do it and stop worrying.

After we took care of everything my thoughts again jumped to purpose... What purpose does Laura have in my life?
Was it to loan me money? No, the money was the catalyst (is this the right word) but for that night laura's purpose to me was to remind me that I am a worthy investment. At other points her purpose has been to call me out on stupidity, reign me in, make me feel loved, make me laugh, and peel me off of sidewalks...

So again I thought what is my purpose to Laura?
You might say it's she needs to be needed (perhaps true but I think it's more than that)
I think I offer to Laura (and correct me if I'm wrong) friendship that is true, an ear, a heart that would stop beating for her if need be, a cute poodle to walk (whenever you want he's yours), and probably most important to her is complete honesty...
I hope to someday have more/better purpose to her but for now it's enough...

This comes off as an ode to a friend and it is and it isn't... It is a reminder to look for the purpose around you! It might not be what you think!

+++what's your greatest purpose?+++
****what should I name my house??****

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