Thursday, March 31, 2011

Relay really

When I signed up for a relay run in DC the hubster gave me one of those ARE YOU NUTS comments...

I told him I wanted to run in DC (easily one of the most beautiful cities in the world and a "hub" of blogging) and I wanted to see all the fun that was going to happen around the national marathon. It also happened that it was the same weekend as the cherry blossom festival and the kite flying festival! I was IN!!!!

Susannah, Carly, Sana, me, Joanna, and Amanda!

So why a relay? Why not train for the half?
Because, why does a person blog? To become a part of a community and I think that a relay offers even more of that sense of community.
And really I only had even read one of the blogs of the ladies I was running with before I signed up with them (I have since added 4 great new blogs to my list - and you should too)

Another reason to sign up for a relay? This shining face will be waiting for you at 7:00 in the cold to wait for the trade off

AND will wait outside IN THE FREEZING COLD while you stay inside (still shivering) making sure you don't miss the trade off

And will take a good picture of you making it LOOk like you actually waited outside and were hardcore

You won't have to run in this crowd alone!

And best of all you get to finish with a friend - and really isn't that what all of life's about - starting as strangers and finishing as friends?

And the ladies were all super sweet and grateful for my insomniac induced crafting (I made them each medal holders - hubster informs me I have to make these for my etsy shop too)

So yup relay! For a REALLY good time!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Let's have fun! Let's run!!

Omg I had SUCH a good time on this run!
There seriously aren't enough words! Let's start with the ladies Who were in the two teams that made up our group (there is a post about all of them with links to their awesome blogs coming up soon) were amazing!
And Sana (above) who I actually ran with was SO much fun! AND AND AND this was her first race and you all know how I am about firsts (they are so important to me) so it was extra awesomesauce!

Sana and I were the third leg of a 3 leg relay team and both teams had run together so we were waiting together (well as much as me waiting inside shivering and her being an awesome team player/cheerleader and being outside cheering on other runners is waiting together). Sana saw our team mates and we ran to where we were supposed to meet them and we took off!

The crowd was awesome and people were cheering the whole way. There were some great signs (in a photo post to come) but there was one in particular that said "if it were easy I'd do it" and that made me channel my inner Kendra ( - one of the most inspiring people I "know") and I took a moment to write my body a love letter or thank you note for allowing me to drive 9 hours down, stand in the freezing cold, run 3.1 miles (and later walk (according to my mileage tracker) another 15) and feel pretty good (I did have a few spots when I was really dizzy (but I just pretended I was fine - you know fake it till you make it works)). Sana was great to run with, our paces matched and she didn't mind the fact that I was going to take about 1,000,000 pics of her (it was her FIRST RACE PEOPLE) and smiled each time. She didn't complain the I'd stop to take pics of dogs (yup dogs of DC post coming) she'd go on and I'd catch up! It was great!

Sana and I ran into a blog friend of hers (and now mine) mindy and we finished strong with her! We got our medals and found our teams and hung out with them for a little bit before we all headed off in our own directions - but not before declaring we all work well together and we must do this again (plans are in the works??)

Check our Sana'a recap at;

***have you ever done a relay?***

(off to take the pupster for a romp in the woods he is waiting ohhh so impatiently - imagine toes tapping on my shoulder)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Most. Awkward. Greeting. EVER!

<<<<>>>>side notes: 1: taking a picture of your own hand is weird (or maybe I need to sleep) 2: so many cool things happened in DC that I am going to post several shorter posts over the course of the next few days (including this one from a rest stop on the drive home @ 4:30 in the morning - I probably ought to be taking a nap) 3: I am the most socially awkward person I know - but this takes it even for me! <<<<>>>>

Setting scene about a buzillion bloggers in one small loud room.

Hi, I'm Holly (from the

Hi, I'm ummm I I'm sorry I just broke my wedding ring

Look of kind shock on her face

I start to blubber (insert foot into mouth)

It's pearls, ummm I'm a pearl girl, ummm it happens umm it's okay. I'm not a diamond person, my father was a jeweler and a drunk and ummm yeah ummm we got diamonds when he was an ass. I have a diamond it was my mother's, she's dead it was in my family for 8 generations and now I wear it. Ohhhh ummm I'm Joy, nice to meet you!
(all spoken at about 1,000,000 miles per hour while staring at my broken pearl ring willing it back together and my mouth to stop talking!)

And she was the most gracious person ever!

This THIS is why I don't get out much. Wouldn't you want to meet me?
Yeah I think I'll go for that nap now seeing as they don't sell alcohol at rest stops!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Ready to run

Sana and I are ready! We've got our cute shirts, fabulous attitudes, and lots of excitement! Can't wait to tell you about it in a bit!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's twisted

So the other morning (Sunday) I woke up and tried to find some quiet tasks to do as my sister was still sound asleep in the hobby room (what most people call their family rooms) and I didn't want to disturb her. I came up with finishing these glass necklaces - they only needed the silver and copper twisted around them.

Around noon I woke my sister up -she'd gone to bed Friday night, slept through all of Saturday (claiming she had a headache when I tried to wake her a couple times) and was still tired... I decided it was time for an ER trip she grudgingly agreed (if you call it agreeing when her choices are go on your two feet or be carried). Well 9 hours later she was given quite a few tests, tons of pain meds and 3.5 liters of fluids...

Through out this my mind kept leaving my pretty seriously ill sister and SCREAMING at me that I was missing my workout. Yelling that I shouldn't have been making jewelry that morning I should have gone for a run, that I had no right! What's sad is that I wasn't able to be fully there for my sister because I really couldn't get out of myself.

I went to bed stressed and disappointed in my lack of activity (the ER is not really a place to even try to fit in a workout) and for a first time I woke up the next day and had to fit in two days worth of workouts just so I could fit in my own skin. This made (and makes) me so sad. I really thought I was at a point in my "recovery" where exercise was for fun happy Joy and not to "feed" a sick twisted ED...

I'm not sure where I go with this information - just something to ponder...

***have you ever discovered parts of yourself that weren't as you thought?***

***do you exercise for fun?***

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Just because you can doesn't mean you should

I have a niece who says that exact phrase to me periodically, usually when I am thinking in a disordered manner. These jeans bring this phrase out more than ANY other thing.

These jeans. They are "my jeans" we all have that thing that is just well us. These are my thing!

The thing about them is they are my "skinny jeans" when I fit into them my ED is happy, when I don't my treatment team is happy (I'm not exactly sure where *I* fit in this equation just yet). I know exactly what weight I need to be to wear them. I know the exact number(s) where they fit/are too small/are too big. They are my ED security blanket, so to say. We jest that my disordered self prays at the alter of the jeans (not too far from the truth).

The other thing about them is they are old (hand me downs from another niece) and wearing thin. I worry about the knees each time I wear them and each and every precious thread every time I wash and dry them I say a little prayer.

Well the other day heather did a post on a wreath she made from recycled fabric (she even mentions old jeans)
And it set off a little spark in my head like "hmmm maybe I ought to make something beautiful for my home from them rather than keep them as a prison for my ED" and the thought has stuck there...
Missy recently got rid of a pair of triggering pants and I was so impressed and proud of her (okay and I admit slightly jealous of her bravery)
I don't think I could give or even throw away my favorite jeans but can I make something out of them? That'd be kind of cool I think... Will it free me or send me spiraling? I don't know and that's kind of (ok really really) scary!

***so have you ever done anything like this?***
would you?

Opinions please

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

My scars tell stories

Today as I was taking a bath (the same one where I took that picture of my scar) I looked down at my knee and I saw a soft pink scar. I remember the day it came to me fondly - Laura and I were biking and I had my first bike fall. I cut my knee and it has a matching sibling on my left elbow. I got up and we rode on (albeit a little more slowly). Do you remember that day Laura? It was a great day!

I looked a little further down my leg and saw a long thin white scar - from early on in my shaving days (the reason I mostly wax now) another time I laughed it off tossed a band aid on and went about my day.

If you look over to my right leg you will see an almost identical scar - from a recent hurried shaving expedition (I really shouldn't shave)

On my right arm you will see a few scars from surgeries to fix my muscles (and carpal tunnel) man was that doc HOTT!

On my stomach is scars from my gall bladder removal. My niece stayed and cared so hard! She's an OR tech and picked my team carefully and wasn't happy when I seized.

My upper lip's 42 stitches my senior year left a scar. I learned the Russian army march for this one - a history teacher tried to make it cool

And the one on my chin still makes me laugh, I was 12 and showing off on my kick ass horse while all my friends were still riding pokey ponies. Well I said whoa and she did! Too bad I didn't and skidded across a street ON MY CHIN! okay lesson learned!

And then there is my "other arm" the one where the scars were intentional. These are the scars I hide... Wide bracelets, long sleeves, well placed hand movements. They too have a story - each of them was a time I needed the physical pain to match the emotional turmoil - the problem here is it never does and just adds another layer of turmoil... And the circle continues!

Today is self injury awareness day - perhaps we could all try to be more aware every day?

***do you have any scar story you'd like to share***

Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner