Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Remembering its not all about me...

I think that many people with eating disorders are very self absorbed. I don't mean that in the negative way it sounds. I mean that you (or maybe just me) spend a lot of time thinking about scales, foods, body image etc. All within yourself - and mostly alone

friend wants to get together for a walk? Ugh, what will she think about my thighs

Husband wants to go to the movies? Grr, doesn't he know the smell of popcorn makes me want some

Niece wants to go shopping at the thrift store? F*ck gotta try on clothes!

Most times I'll make an excuse
-sorry pupster and I already walked
-you know I don't like movies
-Hun I already have plans

You know, the norm

But this week a couple times I stepped out of me...

Said niece has wanted a tablet - I've been scouring Craigslist and eBay to no avail - well to no avail until Saturday morning ... 1 popped up on Craigslist for a price I couldn't refuse. A quick email later and I stepped outside my comfort zone and drove the 45 minutes to Worcester to grab her a nice little tablet - ignoring my body that didn't want to be seen. I seriously can NOT wait to see her reaction to her "love you" present!

Another time a friend needed a ride into Boston for a date night with her hubby - they wanted to drink, and know I'm not fearful of driving in the city... Umm okay I'll take you. Knowing that not only did this require people looking at me but said friend was bound to hug me (do people not understand I am not touchable?) but I did it, I survived it and well in reality I'm proud enough about myself to be blogging it!

Both things were instances where probably the average person wouldn't have been phased but I'm not average I guess (is anybody really average? Doubt it!) but overall it felt good to let people I care about "win" over the demons in my head!

+++when was the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone? How did it work out?+++

1 comment:

Biz said...

Wow, so proud of you getting outside your comfort zone - woot!!

I constantly have to talk myself into keep running - my mind tells me to stop, but my legs say "keep going!"


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