Friday of the anniversary variety

Today is the hubs and I 10th anniversary

It's so weird! It seems like forever and at the same time a half second:-)

It's funny though I love him so much more and differently than I did then!

Lets do fillins - play along Here

1. I was looking for my wedding ring for a month (lost it in the blizzard last month) but I found it yesterday just in time WAHOO.
2. social media is one of my favorite ways to socialize. otherwise I'm pretty scared
3. I looked at the clock this morning and seriously contemplated going back to bed but I really needed to workout.
4. freeis the type of pen I most prefer to use. ;-)
5. What in the world is up with 50 degrees one day and 30 the next!
6. losing my thought seems to happen to me often.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to anniversary date night!!! we went to boston and are seeing a play! tomorrow my plans include i have 6 classes scheduled at the gym and the poodle and his cousin need a walk and Sunday, I want to run a 5k, clean and get a pedicure!

What are you up to this weekend???

Doing yoga "blind"

I wear glasses because without the the world is just a blur - no real beginnings or ends, just colors. Hmmm, sort of like a reflection on water. I have a ton of different pairs of glasses, some for fashion some for fitness. Well today I wore a pair that was too big for working out (aka when I did a push up they fell off), I debated going home to get my workout glasses but I really didn't want to miss a class.
They weren't a problem for my spin classes - even in 3 your head is up enough.
It was pretty good in barre but when doing planks or push ups they fell off so when yoga began I just took them off.
It was a pretty interesting experiment
Not being able to see myself in the mirrors and not really having an ending of body was cool. I was able to let go of myself and relax into poses rather than critique myself nearly as much... No notice of body size and pedicure needs!

I wonder if I should do this more often...

do you yoga? How much do you pay attention to looks?

I made the goal 30 things day 30 and I'm the poodles fave

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

1. A great daughter
2. Someone who didn't give up
3. (This one is hard to explain) but a yogi but not in the flexible way but more in what I think yoga is which is gentle and kind and strong and beautiful (of spirit)
4. An aunt who would quite literally die for her nieces and nephews
5. A good friend
6. A wife that is so amazingly proud and supportive of her husband
7. An athlete
8. Fun
9. A pretty darn good florist
10. The best momma a poodle could even dream of

These are all things I'm working on daily. Well I don't arrange flowers daily but you know what I mean :-)

I do think though that the nieces and nephews know that I'd do anything to make their lives better

And the poodle? Ummm he better think I'm the bestest :-)
Especially since I got up super early to get him a romp in the woods (& picked up a friend for him) because it was supposed to rain all day (spoiler alert it didn't) and made him this ice cream recipe I found on Pinterest:

Treats - I am a poodle's hero

And the ones I hope the people really know
The hubs - I believe he is unfailable and I'm not sure he believes me when I tell him

A great daughter - this is hard! We all know my moms gone but my father is old and dying and I don't have a clue what to do - I'm not sure a visit would be good for either of us...

what do you want to be remembered for?

30 things day 29

So I think I jinxed myself - it is going to snow/rain today. I was convinced that it was spring and all beautiful weather ahead! Ugh!

So here it is 2:30 AM and I'm still awake. Insomnia is a bitch I tell ya. The hubs and the poodle are in bed snoring (off key I believe) and I'm wandering around thinking and thinking! Ugh. (Spoiler - sleep never came last night)

Anyway I just found the coolest app (well actually I just found two new apps but I'm not sure how I feel about the second one so lets wait a bit on that before I review it shall we?) it's a project runway app. Which is cool because I quite love the show but never seem to remember to take my laptop with me anywhere to watch it on Hulu now I can watch any time (yes as a matter of fact it is the little things)

do you watch project runway?




29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

I think most people think that I'm more outgoing than I am. Saying hi to you? You'd not believe the panic attacks that causes. And then I think it over and over again to make sure I didn't sound too stupid. It's almost funny to me. Often I'll say to the hubs "did that sound dumb?" And he's like "umm you said how ya doin'? How can that sound dumb Joy?"
Ironically though I don't worry about sounding stupid when I'm writing a letter I think I figure people are so happy to get a letter that they don't care ;-)

Probably spot on there, huh?

do you replay conversations in your head?

30 things day 28 and its Starbucks time

28. What is your love language?
Well it depends on if you're talking giving or receiving
To give its absolutely gifts. I offer gifts to people as a way of showing them I care. Anything from a little cup of Starbucks tea to ----?
To receive its totally gifts of time. To spend time with me is the best thing you can do!
I swear that's why the poodle is perfect for me. His favorite place in the world is wherever I am!
As a matter of fact he and I are currently walking to Starbucks for a chai. It's brisk out but I'm bundled and he loves the cool air.

what's your love language?

Eyes on the prize and 30 things day 27

Yup it might be after 8 and I'll probably post tomorrows in the morning because that's when I post. I'm still putting this up there because dammit I have a goal! And I need to post every day to get it done!





27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

So! When I was inpatient one time (does anybody else hear "this one at band camp" every time they say one time?) they had this homework where we each had to name a body part we liked, I struggled with this for days I finally came up with the palm of my left hand and my right pinky. I have a freckle on both of them and I think it's a weird, funny weird place to have freckles and therefore it makes me laugh and really anything that makes a person giggle is a keeper ;-) look under my pointer finger that's where it is

PS - I like my shoulders too about 50,000 push-ups certainly helps with that 💪

tell me about a favorite body part of yours!

It didn't snow and 30 things days 26

Yeah I am so making my goal of finishing these this month! 👍 Yay me!
Anyway (in my head this is always said like Ellen - she totally makes me laugh) we were supposed to have a game day today which we canceled due to the snow that was coming 8ish inches of heavy wet stuff. Well Mother Nature totally missed the memo (maybe she doesn't watch the weather channel?) and I'm listening to rain on the roof, it's actually nice... It's the light gentle "ballet" of rain as opposed to the "mosh pit" of sharp drops that we've had recently! But now I'm wondering if I ought to uncancel today's company... The flaw? I didn't get the makings for tacos because who wants to go to the grocery store the day before a storm? "Not I said the fly"

PS if you are looking for a super good (EASY) taco meat recipe try this one:
Chicken tacos

So now I'm sitting here debating if I ought to hit the grocery store before the gym just so it's done because they have to cook so long! But what if it snowed where they live? Then I may end up stuck with 6 chicken breasts of taco meat as a vegan (side note why do they write veg*n so often? Well lookie here Veg*n question answered ) and the hubs will have to eat chicken nonstop for days!

Well that's the end of my brain thoughts for today...
So lets get to:





26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
Well *i* think the world has lots of things wrong... But for today lets pick ugh decisions! I'm debating between yoga, mail, and crochet... Here snippet of each:
yoga a lot of people think that yoga isn't a workout and if you are really trying it absolutely is. You get as much out of yoga as you put into it. I took a great class yesterday and one of the poses we did was crow
Veg*n question answered" target="_self" title="" style="font-size:16;color:black;font-family:;text-decoration:none;">Description of crow
And I really focused on tightening my core to hold the pose longer and it worked but my abs are stinging tonight! I've also gotten more shoulder definition and strength thanks to down dog. So it is a workout! You get what you give peeps!

mail ok here is a "pet peeve" of mine. EVERYBODY likes to get letters in the mail📮 but nobody actually likes to write letters (well I do but let's not include me in the equation ok?) I was talking about this with the hubs and he was like "I don't know what to say" and I was all like "say whatever there isn't a wrong way to write a letter" I think this has a lot to do with my mom - she loves to write thank you notes (and in my house they were\are mandatory - seriously I can not tell you how many times I heard the phrase "a gift is like a contract joy it's not finished until you sign your name... The present is the paper and the thank you note is the signature. Only after you sign it is the gift really yours") I write letters of jibber jabber or I write letters that I think are deep or I write punny letters! But mostly I write letters and that is the important part. So in short, write a letter (emails do NOT count)

crochet (or knitting - but I can't) people seem to think this is for grandmas and they could not be more wrong it's kind of cool (at any age) to be able to use or wear something you've made and really does this look like your grandmas purse? Didn't think so!

Click picture for pattern (I'm making one this week)

what's something you think main stream America has wrong? Convince me!

And lets end it with a gratuitous poodle shot because well he's cute

Don't miss therapy when your crazies have come out to play and 30 things day 25

Title was a quote from the hubs when I told him I was skipping therapy today. It kind of made me laugh - and made me call my therapist and say I'd make it to the appointment... Anyway!






25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
Dumb question all around! My mother of course :-) and I have no idea what I'd order that would be so much less important to me than talking to Her.

if you were asked the question above what would you answer

30 things day 24 & I think I over did it

Shhh don't tell the hubs but he might be right. I may have over worked out today (I took 5 classes - was supposed to be 6 but the poodle guilted me into playing in the snow during 1 of them - check out that face... You'd have played with him too!), and I'm paying for it now. My calves are screaming! Loud enough to keep me awake grrrrrrr!
But anyway before I tell you the next on the 30 things I have a recipe link for you since this made me the hubs' hero. Apparently when he was a kid his mom used to buy him carnation breakfast bars (this shocks me that the woman spent $ on pre made bars since A- she's cheap and B- she bakes) and since they no longer make them he was dying for some homemade ones. I googled and came up with this recipe Carnation breakfast bars copycat recipe well it's a winner! Check out my version :-) I made muffins out of them for ease of transport! I thought they were cute until I took this picture and now I think they look like poop! Reason 8 million I'm not a good blogger (that and my "styling" opening the fridge and putting one on top of the Tupperware taking the picture and being done)




24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
As a child I was closer to my sisters. These days we barely talk. Though as I think about my childhood (not something I do often) I'm not so sure we were closer. I think that we were just too far apart in age (they are 10, 15, and 18 years older than I) and that may be why we aren't so close now... No real foundation to build a relationship on. I grew up with different parents (by the time I was born my mom was an older, patient calm lady and my father had grown into an alcoholic - my sisters knew a fun playful father and a more active mother) so we don't really have that in common either.

do you have childhood food memories? I have some but none I'd want to relive (ed aside my mom wasn't a great cook)

30 things day 23

I just got back from a whirlwind valentine's day in NYC - it was great! Walked the city, ran a lot, hung with the hubs, the sister and brother in law. However, pretty sure I'll never sit on a bus again ;-)




23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
1- Working out - when I tell people I love to workout they tell me I'm nuts or its part of the ed or whatever. But really it's that I love seeing how far my body can go, when I'm at the gym I feel... Immortal!
2-crocheting - it's just enough to keep my brain busy while there are other things going on around me.
3- making jewelry - I love to make pretty bling :-) I am the daughter of a jeweler I was born to love making jewelry. Every aspect of it is great, from designing, to buying the pieces, to making it even putting it on etsy.
4- walking in the woods with the poodle. I love the calm of nature and the pure GLEE of the poodle all together.
5- cleaning - this might be an OCD thing though, I love the smell of cleaners and the look of a nice home.

30 things day 22

So first of all we will start off with a little story of why I'm not a cook. I got up ridiculously early this morning so I decided to surprise the hubs with pancakes. I followed the direction to a t! And as the second pancake was cooking the fire alarm went off (it does pretty much EVERYTIME I cook on the stove) I had the fire on low and nothing was burning its just me. The hubs can cook with no screaming disc of plastic but me? nope not at all! Apparently the surprise was gone but he's enjoying them while I write this!

Anyway:




22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

Really? Are you kidding me? I can't figure out tomorrow never mind five + years from now. Heck I'm still trying to foresee this whole day (I'm taking a train and a subway - holy scary!)

Friday blizzard fillin

1. In New England we can survive a snowstorm knowing that pitchers and catchers report in only 3 short days!!!.
2. why yes i have shoveled LOTS of snow I've been out 5 times so far :-(
3. Ahhhh, I'm warm and in the house, I have electricity and a poodle on my lap.
4. workout is my favorite thing to do nowadays.
5. Last night, I had a dream about people you have to sleep to dream therefore I don't dream
6. I'm hanging with the hubs and the poodle which is the perfect way to spend a blizzard.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to shoveling tomorrow my plans include shoveling a lot and Sunday, I want to hubs is taking me out in a valentines date!

What are you doing this weekend

I walked in late & 30 days thing 21

So for as long as I can remember walking into a building (or room) alone has been painfully scary to me. I used to get together with a group of friends once a month and EVERY month I'd have a panic attack at the thought of walking in, I'd often cry to myself in the car beforehand. Now mind you this was a group OF MY FRIENDS! And I would cry --- as a matter of fact any of you who I've had to come to a party or event or trust me when I tell you there's been drama in my head to get there. Well this week I misread the schedule at my gym and I thought a class started at 5:30 when in fact it started at 5:00. I got to the gym at 5:15 and realized my mistake and was trying to decide why to do with the 45 minutes before the next class when the receptionist said "go in, they started a couple minutes late you'll be fine". Without a shudder or a tear I agreed, put on my spin shoes and jumped in. The instructor greeted me with a hi joy and I grabbed a bike DRAMA FREE. I am so blessed by a warm and welcoming gym that is absolutely perfect for me! The glow of that lasted the whole night esp when I came home and told the hubs I walked in and he jumped up and danced for me :-D





21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

I would be like the one in twilight (crap I forget whose power this was) who could relax everyone's emotions. I think that would be the best power to have. What would I do first? Hmmmm I don't know I think it would just be great always

what's your choice of super power ?

30 things day 20

I really think my goal for February should be to finish this!

Kriminy :-)

Anyway, no new dog happened this weekend and now the shelter is closed until Tuesday so nothing will happen today either :-/
I can't decide though if the poodle would love this or hate it - he is after all doted on. Evidence? The hubs wanted nachos and ice cream for the game. So we went out and got it - on the way home we stopped at the pet store for a bulky stock and frosty paws for the poodle. Also we dvr'd the puppy bowl for him since he was enjoying watching it - yup poodle man has it all




20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

WAIT! I actually like this question. :-)

1- the day my best friend and I got into a fight and shortly after the ice cream truck came - I was over the fight and so I walked up to her and said "I'll buy you an ice cream if you'll be my best friend" must have worked! We are still sisters at heart.

2- the time we went to Disney Florida (on a train all of us!!!!) and I was 10 and got to drive baby Jake Jake around the car track! I was so proud - until I drove off the track and we had to be rescued

3- same friend as #1 the day she taught me to ride a bike on my front lawn so I wouldn't get all cut up (see told you the ice cream worked)

tell me one of your childhood memories

Friday... Yawn! Saturday

So its Saturday because I was a hot and tired mess last night and my eyes were crossing at the thought of writing and/or reading.

I've had a bit of news this week that I'm working on "digesting" my father has been in the hospital and or rehab for over a month. There's a part of me that wonders if I want to say goodbye at his end of life or if I'm okay with the status quo. I am really going to have to think about this pretty rapidly.

But on better news the poodle MAY be getting a brother - I found a cutie little min pin who needs a home. But he is "special needs" and I'm not sure if he and the poodle would be good for one another. We are waiting on my vet to talk to the shelter vet.

No onto my favorite part of the week!
1. Sniff, sniff...what is the difference with the new lavender swiffer dries they're yummy
2. I admit it i am a sports fan, there's something about watching people do something they're passionate about
3. What in the world is up with this dry weather? My face is sucking in moisturizer like its going out of control
4. I live for peace and quiet.
5. One of my dreams is to teach yoga to senior citizens and there's a class in it later this month - I'm trying to figure out how to fit an extra $200 into my budget
6. there areso few things that make me as happy as seeing old couples in love
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin, trx & then going out with a new gym friend to check out tj maxx tomorrow my plans include spin then barre then a second spin class and yoga, then taking the poodle for a walk, now I'm chilling giving myself a facial, when the hubs gets home we are running errands and then hanging in! and Sunday, I want to run and then Pilates, maybe hit up a yoga charity event and probably football!

Are you watching the game?

30 things day 19

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Well that's a weird question! I don't know - I haven't been everywhere. Of the places I've been I most did not want to leave Jamaica - it was warm and beautiful. I'd probably (maybe?) miss the seasons though. I dream of retiring to Lincoln NH and opening a very small scale B and B so I guess I'd say Lincoln. You know- with a vacation home in Jamaica (and a private jet).

So.... Onto real life, I have a friend (who oft drives me nuts haha) but Monday she checked in to be sure I'm ok. Asked me if I wanted to reminisce about mom and was basically just available to me all day even though she had a pretty significant event going on in her own life (she bought a new car!!!!! And had all the fun/stress that goes along with it) she makes me want to be a better person\friend. And she reminded me to send a balloon up to momma. Sweet huh? She worked hard to make a sad day a nice one!

Well I'm off to bake muffins Lola (the corolla) is getting an oil change today and I love the guys at my mechanic and they love when I bake for them!

so where do you want to live?

Still missing

This morning I got up (as I do every morning) at some ungodly hour (today 2 AM) and settled down to crochet. The hubs and poodle will be asleep for hours to come (yes as a matter of fact I am jealous that they can sleep through the night when I get 2 or 3 hours before the brain turns on).

Today, however, is NOT the same as every other day. It is the five year anniversary of my mom's passing. It's weird, I still wait for her to come home. I'd do pretty much anything to hear her off-key singing. To have another hug.

I am shocked that I'm not better (or dead - I've "played" with my body way too much).

Today I will:
Walk with poodle
Go to therapy
And get a good sweat on
I will clean my house
And I will breathe

But it's so weird that I really still don't feel like I live without her.

Here's some pics from my old blog when I posted about her dying

and really hug your loved ones today! I know I will

Windy Friday

So I had a dream last night (and no I'm not mlk - his dreams inspire generations, mine make me want to punch people) I had wrapped a present in fabric (I think long sleeved shirts) that I kept tying in knots, I think I was trying to be creative (I blame this on my 3 sleepless hours from 1-4 where I perused Pinterest).
But the hubs WOULD NOT stop teasing me about this. I woke up and seriously thought about waking him up to give him a piece of my mind (or a knuckle sandwich) but I decided against that and am instead sharing the story with you. #winning (for him at least NOTSOMUCH for you)

It's Friday and I'm filling and you should Play along here

1. Wow, this is ending up being a wordy post as I'm hella opinionated today
2. I hate trivia (I mean as in trivial pursuit - I like when people give me random facts) last weekend we had friends over for games the man wanted to play trivial pursuit his wife was like "Joy hates that game" ironically we ended up playing a game I liked even less!
3. Finally, I'm warm, now I HATE to be one of "those people" who complains about the weather but... 8* can kiss my ____.
4. staying in other than when i go to the gym is all right with me but it's making the poodle depressed and led me to googling Zoloft for dogs (see depressed poodle pics - you totally would have googled it too)
5. Sweet or savory: I hate that I always make up my own answer to shit but sour.
6. I got lots of compliments on a pair of leggings I wore the other day: they're new to me but I don't think they are new I bought them on eBay for next to nothing
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin and trx tomorrow my plans include working on and hopefully mailing a gift to a friend and of course the gym and there's a rumor (aka the weather channel) that it might be warm enough to go out! and Sunday, I want to I'm going with the hubs to an adult puppet show (lord help me this does NOT sound like a joy thing) and I have Pilates in the morning.

Do you remember your dreams? I usually don't

30 days day 18

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
I wonder if the creator of this meme meant someone that I did actually forgive or if it can be Someone I'll never forgive?
Hmmmmm thinking... I'll go with the never forgive - my father not only cheating on my mother but feeling the need to TELL HER a couple if weeks before her death. I was FURIOUS and my kind momma? She just said to me "joy, did you think I didn't know? Of course I knew. And I'm going to die and he's going to be around for a time to come he needs to get rid of the guilt" and THAT is why she will always be a better person than I. She forgave, I cut him out of my life.

have you ever held a grudge? Are you a good forgiver?

Today's post is brought to you by insomnia Source