Heroes revisited...

So on Saturday at around 9pm we lost electricity which also means heat. Seeing as I am the coldest person on the planet this sucks! But, today at 11:30 as we were driving the 3/4 mile (what you would have too just to enjoy the warm car?) to get hubster a cuppa joe we saw a light man getting his work on. And again I wondered if this man knew he was my hero... But this time I didn't want to question it so I rolled down my window and shouted out "you're my hero, thank you!"

+++when was the last time you told someone they were your hero? And when was the last time someone told you that you were their hero?"

Friday fill ins

Courtesy of fridayfillins.blogspot.com


1. Beware of GHOSTS GOBLIMS AND VAMPIRES (THEY GOT ME THIS MORNING I HAD TO HAVE LABS DONE)

2. I CANT BELIEVE IT'S snowED.

3. And since we ARE TALKING ABOUT SNOW HUBSTER MENTIONED THAT HE DOESN'T REMEMBER SNOW THIS EARLY BEFORE NEITHER DO I

4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN spirits? I DO!!

5. Where IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO GO FOR HALLOWEEN - FOR ME I LIKE TO BE AT HOME AND GIVE OUT TOYS

6. SOUP is one of my favorite meals when it's cold out.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to SLEEP (I'm sick), tomorrow my plans include WATCHING MY NIECE AT THE STATE CHEER FINALS (? I think its state) and Sunday, I want to GO FOR A HIKE WITH THE PUPSTER!

This one time...

Yeah so the other night hubster and I were watching tv and pupster kept looking at me. And then looking to his right and then staring me down. I was laughing at him asking if Timmy had fallen into the well... Finally I decided to wrestle with him thinking that's what he wanted and as I pushed him playfully I felt it a peanut sized lump at the base of his jaw... To say I freaked isn't quite descriptive enough.

But, ironically as soon as I knew what was going on and in charge (as much in charge as you can be when you call the emergency vet and they say wait until morning because they won't be able do anything at midnight - and call his breeder who tells me to relax get some rest and deal with it in the morning) pupster relaxed he put his head on my lap and fell asleep.

I called his vet at 7:31 the next morning (they open at 7:30) and had a 10:00 appointment (with his favorite vet at the practice) after a biopsy to rule out cancer and rule in what it was (a highly swollen lymph node) pupster was diagnosed with his second major battle with Lyme disease... He has a lowered immune system because of having gotten it so young the first time (4 months) and so is more susceptible... I left the vet with a new round of meds and positively jovial... Perspective huh? Anyone else finding out their dog has Lyme would probably be sad but me? I heard its not cancer!

+++do you have a pet? Do you have it insured?+++

(ps pupster is insured but not against Lyme)

50 questions 1 at a time question 18

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

OMG - eff yes! I hold onto EVERYTHING - if you've ever insulted me/hurt my feelings I am able to transport myself back to that in a flash... And worse is I'll agree with you!

+++are you holding onto things that need to be let go of?+++

Do you ever forget?

I do!
The beauty around me, that is!
I go to Harold Parker state forest all! The! Time! And for me it's my home base walk and I forget to pay attention to it (as a matter of fact I am blogging this while walking one of pupsters favorite trails). When I want a "nice walk" I'll drive somewhere else - often a half hour or more away. Well today I didn't have time for that and I figured we'd settle for "our home base" and on the drive it occurred to me how lucky I am to have these trails and these changing leaves to ignore!

And wouldn't you know it as I got here a bus load of cross country runners were getting ready for a "pretty" run and 3 or 4 minutes in I came across leaf peepers (complete with binoculars) to enjoy the foliage and it really hit home... I am so lucky to have this!

+++what are you blessed by that forget to notice?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 17

(photo from the "occupy Boston" demonstration - I drove a friend to work right past them)

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Gotten a college degree - I have a # of certificates but no degree... What's holding me back? Ummm fear of failure, fear of hating it, fear fear fear!

+++so what's holding you back?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 16

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Because not everyone can see the amazing ness that is pupster! His love and kindness makes me smile daily, but some people either don't like dogs (silly silly people) or can't see how amazing my dog in particular is (and he is pretty amazing)

+++are you a dog person?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 15

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

I see the world differently than most people. things other people see as ugly i find gorgeous (graffiti) things people see as bothersome I see as friends (most homeless people)

Things that drive other people up a wall I find sweet or charming. Things that other people are chill about are often enough to send me over the edge...

Little differences like - many people are annoyed by kids running around stores, I think it's cute when they're playing hide and seek! Or when we have no hot water for (now a month) I think most people would be driven off the deep end I'm like ehh it's fine.

But not being able to find the card I'm looking for most people probably would sit think and figure it out - I on the other hand have a breakdown and wonder why life is worth living... OCD much?

It's been a rough week, here's to hoping it gets better!

+++what do you do differently?+++

Everyday hero

Yesterday I went into Starbucks (aka my Mecca) and orders my usual - chai tea tall with 2 pumps sugar free hazelnut and a splash of soy (seriously try it - you'll thank me) and was happily given my drink by the barrista

I realized that she truly is a hero to me... Just doing her job, but doing it well and cheerfully

What constitutes a hero? Is it only someone who saves lives? Or can it be someone who makes life shiny-ER and brighter for those who pass by?

50 questions 1 at a time question 15

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Well in the case of the photo up above I originally saw creativity but as everyone laughed at poor pupster I saw insanity...

Umm to answer the question... Probably not! I find very little insane (or at least insane with a bad connotation) I mostly see things and think "that's awesomely cool" when OTHER people think it's insane...

One of the coolest and most creative things I'd seen was a group of college people playing quidditch (carrying brooms and all - one girl acting as the snitch flickering around here there and every where) I stopped to watch and was quite impressed by the whole thing. But as I sat and watched the imaginary quidditch world cup I heard people walking by mocking this group of young adults. And all I could think was "wow they are exercising their brains and bodies all at once this is awesome how are you not seeing this?"

+++would you have thought the game was as inspired as I did?+++

The house that craigslist built

I used to tease my mom mercilessly about buying only items with red tags on them (aka clearance) I'd tell her that as a child I didn't know that stuff was sold before it had a red tag on it... That I thought it was just for display (true story).

I wonder what she'd say to her cheap ass daughter who has:
Bought either scratch and dent OR used appliances

Gone without hot water for 3 weeks (I shower at the gym) when the furnace broke because she refused to pay 2 plumber fees when he was going to have to come out to install the dryer and stove anyway!

Bought a bigger better tv than she wanted (way bigger - like 15" bigger) because it was on clearance to make way for a new model so it was $700 cheaper than the one she went for

Slept on the floor because the mattress we wanted was going on sale in 2 weeks so why pay full price when we could pay half...

Bought used couches, tv stands etc because they were as good as new and WAY cheaper.

And the new things I did buy... Well yeah they had red tags on them

Apple, tree... Nope not a far fall at all!

+++are you like your parents? And do you pay full price?+++

Arrr I missed talk like a pirate day!

So I missed the actual day but I had to find my name out - ummm no thanks I'll keep joy thanks!

So tomorrow we are going to pick up the new washer dryer and I am literally pulling out the broken foot card... We don't have to mention that I took the pupster to new England pet expo and walked around for five hours straight! But whatever!

So, I also stopped at the zero waste day (where tons of charities were to get all your leftover junk) and I have to say the freedom of getting rid of so much stuff is rather intoxicating I literally filled an entire car with crap (okay clothes shoes electronics etc)

+++ is clearing out clutter addictive to you?+++

Friday fill ins

Okay 1st of all pupster and I are in a fight BUT really how cute is my dog

1. When I walk around my neighborhood I see THE LAKE, RAILROAD TRACKS, WOODS, PEOPLE AND DOGS

2. APPLESAUCE is my favorite thing to cook.

3. Life is CRAZY

4. My PUPSTER (when he's not an ass who steals my side of the bed aka last night) makes me feel all warm and fuzzy

5. WHO KNOWS? is my favorite Autumn vegetable.

6. SLEEP is better when it is UNINTERRUPTED

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to BILL BURR (please don't ask me who that is I have no idea)
tomorrow my plans include GIVING BRASS MONKEY BACK AND THE PET EXPO and Sunday, I want to SLEEP!!!!

50 questions 1 at a time question 13

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

This is a silly question - of course I would! And if you mean to literally save someone's life I'd break the law (assuming it isn't like murder or something) to save a stranger.

Laws are only as good as the people they are protecting so if they're not then (in my rather twisted opinion) they're invalid...

+++what about you? Would you break the law to save someone?
And do you think all laws are created equal?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 12

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Be true to yourself and love yourself - the rest will fall into place.

I think if you do those 2 things pretty much everything will workout okay

+++do you agree!+++

Broken

So I recently replied to my therapist when he was suggesting some things we can work on --- let's just give up and admit I'm broken. (this was a pity party day)

Well fast forward a week and I spent some time with an older gentleman with ms... And it occurred to me how dare I call myself broken and quit when this poor guy has debilitating pain for anywhere from 5 to 20 seconds out of every 2 to 3 minutes, he hasn't called it yet how could I?

Shortly after this I managed to fall/slip/stub my toe (let's blame it on my clumsiness and the fact that I was trying to be helpful and pay attention to a dude with ms while walking down stairs #fail :-) well my foot started swelling right away. The long and the short of it... It's broken!

I'm thinking someone/something out there has a sense of humor... Now let's see if I can not break my neck on crutches!

+++totally not a related question - do you see the dear in the wall up above?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 11

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Ahhh finally an easy one (should have read ahead and then I wouldn't have taken so long a break). I've been in this exact situation many times! I'd point out some of her finer points. I wouldn't correct them or defend her (I find people don't listen when you are basically telling them they're wrong) but say she was so sweet to me during xyz period of ny life she helped me with abc - I couldn't have made it through without her...

+++what would you do? Pupster really wants to know+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 10

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I'd like to say that I feel like this question is about the same as question 2...

This sort of paralyzes me... I really want to do the right things (hello recovery I'm looking at you) but I think that maybe if I did things right the right things would happen. Does that even make sense? (btw I feel like I say that phrase more than anyone I know)

+++ so what about you? Which would you rather do the right things or do things right?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 9

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Well I am currently sitting here at the laundromat texting hubster letting him know that this is my first and last time doing laundry here!

To what degree have I controlled my own life? Hmmm hard one! I partially believe that everyone controls their lives but at the same time circumstance really determines a lot. I can't control what happens to me - but I can control how I react to it, right?

That's the part I need to work on - reactions...

+++what about you, have you determined your own life?+++

50 questions 1 at a time question 8

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

This is another thinking one... I assume that MY lifespan is about 40 years. So what would I do differently? Well I'd like to change what I'm doing currently... But I can't quite figure out how. And for pupster and hubster I wanna live a long time, they're lots of fun

I plan on talking to my treatment team next week to figure out what I need to do. If I only have a few years left I'd be okay with that IF I were living it rather than just surviving it... However if changes can make it a longer happier life I'm all in for that too!

+++what changes can you make to improve your life?+++