Saturday, May 28, 2011
Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed.-author unknown
This is a reoccurring theme in my life I think... I start something REALLY excited and gung ho and then the reality of it sets in and I lose interest and well it all sort of peters out...
Recovery keeps being one of those... "I will follow meal plans" "I will not over exercise" "I will go to all my appointments" and when I am telling you these (ultimately lies) I truly believe them to be true. Then reality sets in and well I'm no longer following plans, making appointments or working out in a reasonable manner.
Recently my psych has suggested that I email her when I am wanting to use ed behaviors or si and while I originally (as in Tuesday) thought this was a great idea - I'd purge with words rather than my mouth - when yesterday came and it was time to write the email I instead found myself in a bathroom.
I wondered why... And unfortunately I know why, I'm ashamed of admitting I'm GOING TO do it (whichever it that I might be doing at the time) I am often not sorry for having done it...
Even my shame looses steam quickly! Not exactly sure where I'm going with this or how to change it but it is clearly something I need to work on .... If only I didn't lack the follow through, huh?
+++are you good at follow through? +++