30 things day 19

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Well that's a weird question! I don't know - I haven't been everywhere. Of the places I've been I most did not want to leave Jamaica - it was warm and beautiful. I'd probably (maybe?) miss the seasons though. I dream of retiring to Lincoln NH and opening a very small scale B and B so I guess I'd say Lincoln. You know- with a vacation home in Jamaica (and a private jet).

So.... Onto real life, I have a friend (who oft drives me nuts haha) but Monday she checked in to be sure I'm ok. Asked me if I wanted to reminisce about mom and was basically just available to me all day even though she had a pretty significant event going on in her own life (she bought a new car!!!!! And had all the fun/stress that goes along with it) she makes me want to be a better person\friend. And she reminded me to send a balloon up to momma. Sweet huh? She worked hard to make a sad day a nice one!

Well I'm off to bake muffins Lola (the corolla) is getting an oil change today and I love the guys at my mechanic and they love when I bake for them!

so where do you want to live?

Still missing

This morning I got up (as I do every morning) at some ungodly hour (today 2 AM) and settled down to crochet. The hubs and poodle will be asleep for hours to come (yes as a matter of fact I am jealous that they can sleep through the night when I get 2 or 3 hours before the brain turns on).

Today, however, is NOT the same as every other day. It is the five year anniversary of my mom's passing. It's weird, I still wait for her to come home. I'd do pretty much anything to hear her off-key singing. To have another hug.

I am shocked that I'm not better (or dead - I've "played" with my body way too much).

Today I will:
Walk with poodle
Go to therapy
And get a good sweat on
I will clean my house
And I will breathe

But it's so weird that I really still don't feel like I live without her.

Here's some pics from my old blog when I posted about her dying

and really hug your loved ones today! I know I will

Windy Friday

So I had a dream last night (and no I'm not mlk - his dreams inspire generations, mine make me want to punch people) I had wrapped a present in fabric (I think long sleeved shirts) that I kept tying in knots, I think I was trying to be creative (I blame this on my 3 sleepless hours from 1-4 where I perused Pinterest).
But the hubs WOULD NOT stop teasing me about this. I woke up and seriously thought about waking him up to give him a piece of my mind (or a knuckle sandwich) but I decided against that and am instead sharing the story with you. #winning (for him at least NOTSOMUCH for you)

It's Friday and I'm filling and you should Play along here

1. Wow, this is ending up being a wordy post as I'm hella opinionated today
2. I hate trivia (I mean as in trivial pursuit - I like when people give me random facts) last weekend we had friends over for games the man wanted to play trivial pursuit his wife was like "Joy hates that game" ironically we ended up playing a game I liked even less!
3. Finally, I'm warm, now I HATE to be one of "those people" who complains about the weather but... 8* can kiss my ____.
4. staying in other than when i go to the gym is all right with me but it's making the poodle depressed and led me to googling Zoloft for dogs (see depressed poodle pics - you totally would have googled it too)
5. Sweet or savory: I hate that I always make up my own answer to shit but sour.
6. I got lots of compliments on a pair of leggings I wore the other day: they're new to me but I don't think they are new I bought them on eBay for next to nothing
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin and trx tomorrow my plans include working on and hopefully mailing a gift to a friend and of course the gym and there's a rumor (aka the weather channel) that it might be warm enough to go out! and Sunday, I want to I'm going with the hubs to an adult puppet show (lord help me this does NOT sound like a joy thing) and I have Pilates in the morning.

Do you remember your dreams? I usually don't

30 days day 18

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
I wonder if the creator of this meme meant someone that I did actually forgive or if it can be Someone I'll never forgive?
Hmmmmm thinking... I'll go with the never forgive - my father not only cheating on my mother but feeling the need to TELL HER a couple if weeks before her death. I was FURIOUS and my kind momma? She just said to me "joy, did you think I didn't know? Of course I knew. And I'm going to die and he's going to be around for a time to come he needs to get rid of the guilt" and THAT is why she will always be a better person than I. She forgave, I cut him out of my life.

have you ever held a grudge? Are you a good forgiver?

Today's post is brought to you by insomnia Source

A celebration idea

Today is:
Martin Luther king day
It is also Inauguration Day 2013!

I can think of no better way to mark the occasion (whether you are celebrating or mourning) than to thank our veterans. So today as I watch the inauguration I will be writing valentines for vets. This is one of my favorite "volunteer" opportunities each year. I buy cute valentines (this years are the muppets! And I write them out.
I'll write tos like:
America's soldier
A very brave person
An American hero
My favorite soldier
A great American
A special soldier
Etc (I try to make as many different as possible)

And then I sign them with my first name and a little message like:
Your service mattered
Thank you
Thank you for risking you life for my freedom
Because of soldiers like you we are free
You're great
You are treasured for your service
Etc!

This is a really easy thing to do, so join me!
Here's a little info to find where to give them (or mail them)
Valentine's for veterans

Tired Friday

And...here we go! Thanks again Janet

1. I love the feeling of waking upin the morninggetting my crochet in and snuggling the poodle!

2. Seeing the hubs come to bed with me with a book to read me always brightens my day.

3. Jamaica!!!!!!!!!!!!! aka best vacation ever is what I will remember the most from 2012.

4. My favorite family recipe is either my mom's bread pudding or her banana bread

5. When I want to spoil myself I have a pedicure with cute colors.

6. grey's anatomy is my favorite TV show.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hang with the hubs and poodle tomorrow my plans include I signed up for a few classes at the gym and I need to take the poodle for a long walk and I really want to make some yogurt (I got a yogurt maker for Christmas) and Sunday, I want to go for a run with my friend Sara and then hit up Pilates and in the afternoon I will have the football game on and we are having friends over for games

What are your weekend plans?

30 things day 17

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Hmmmm the thing I MOST wish.... I'm not sure I have just one thing. I have lots of things

I wish I were fashionable (really sometimes I look at myself and heck I'm embarrassed to be seen with me)

I wish I were flexible (I mean I go to yoga 3 times a week you'd think it'd help)

I wish I was a better parallel parker (I can usually do it but there's a lot of stress and swears involved)

I wish I was better at graphic editing (I try but my brain doesn't work like that)

I wish I spoke another language fluently (again my brain = defunct)

But I don't wish I was better at snuggling the poodle - since that's what I do best in all the world! But he snores - in my ear!

what do you wish you were better at?

Friday

And...here we go!

1. Wake up you have a busy day ahead - that's what my alarm says. Too bad today I set it for 5:45PM
2. I've been watching 4 weddings lately and remembering all the fun we had.
3. Every picture I take of the poodle makes me fall more in love with him
4. there is little that is little too quiet.
5. Stay with your dreams they will carry you far
6. i would like to believe i will grow and change in a thousand ways.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin tabata tomorrow my plans include going to the gym and to see les mis with a friend and Sunday, I want to go for a run I have 3 races coming up!

What are your weekend plans?

14 years in the blink of an eye

I am a very blessed human being. My sisters all gave birth to humans who I can consider some of my best friends.
Well 14 years ago today one of those humans gave birth to yet another human and made me a great aunt! She was young, I was young, my sister was young to be a grandmother but we were also very very lucky.
Without the birth of Alicia (poor kid has more names than the poodle - she answers to: Alicia, Alicia Bella, jabell, Ali-oops, Bella, and so much more) the hubs and I? Never would have happened!
I was fortunate, little girl lived right next door to me and graced me with her kindness and love frequently. She taught me how to eat my words (I wasn't all too excited to meet her; stark contrast to now when I'm counting down the minutes until I see her tonight at her birthday party). I got the honor of teaching her to read. Her first word was life... I cried :-)
She has grown as have I. But she will ALWAYS be my baby girl!
Happy birthday jabell! I love you so very much. And Chris? You make good humans!
Love you both and see you in T - 5 hours 25 minutes


are you an aunt? Isn't it the greatest "job" ever?

Sick day - Friday

Thanks Janet for another great week

1. Let me sleep, all I need is the poodle and a throat drop.
2. i love love love going through closets and drawers and throw stuff out (well really donate it)
3. Listen here: it matters not whether or not we agree we are still friends.
4. now that's what I am talking about!
5. When I was younger, I thought I would be a librarian, but then I learned how much school was entailed and I gave up the dream (kinda)
6. I almost never laugh!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to skipping the gym (gasp) and staying in and feeling like death, tomorrow my plans include dear heaven getting in 3 classes (but i have NO faith that i'll be off the sofa by then) and hopefully going to my friends goodbye party Sunday, I want to feel better!

What are you up to this weekend?

30 things day 17

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

I wish that I were a better writer. I want to be intriguing. I want things to be as funny as they are in my head. Or as poignant and touching as I feel they are. It's actually something I am thinking of going to take a course or two on...

what do you wish you were better at?

2012 in a meme

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Spent a lot of time with my Ohio family (they moved here). Drove to Pennsylvania 2 times in 2 weeks

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't remember making any. This year however I am hoping to get to 700 classes at the gym

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

Either at my sister's or home with the hubs and poodle

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thank heaven!

5. What countries did you visit?

Jamaica BEST VACATION EVER!!!!

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Peace. I feel like 2012 has been the year of panic attacks :-(

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 11 seeing my niece get married :-)

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?

I survived a vacation - I flew!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Finding sanity!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes I've spent a few days in the ER this year

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new coat <3

12. Where did most of your money go?

Poodle vet bills and my copays

13. What song will always remind you of 2012?

The one that starts the barre classes (don't know it's name) and brown chicken brown cow (totally because of Ashley)

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Walked in the woods

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Drove

16. What was your favorite TV program?

Grey's anatomy, private practice and parenthood

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I just don't believe in hate

18. What was the best book you read?

I know I was late to the party but I really liked the help. And I loved the night circus any suggestions on what to read next?

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

My love for gaga grew. And the Christina aguilara and Blake shelton combo song

20. What was your favorite film of this year?

I can't think of a single movie I watched that was great :-)

21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Is it bad I have NO IDEA what I did on my birthday?

22. What kept you sane?

The poodle, nature, the gym

23. Who did you miss?

My mom, always my mom!

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned.



25. What does 2013 hold for me?

Hopefully some sanity and figuring out what I want to do to help the world

answer a few I'd love to hear :-)
MOSTLY HAVE A HAPPY SAFE NEW YEAR!

30 days question 16

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Ummm hello hard question!

Let's see:
1- I started college (dropped out so...)

2- Picked the poodle (being his mom is the best thing EVER)

3- Took great care of my mom when she was sick (of everything in my life THIS is what I am most proud of)

4- was invited to the eastern states exposition 3 times with my old mare

5- I bought the wee house which I love!

what's an accomplishment that you're proud of?

Friday!

Happy Friday friends! How are you? Doing well I hope :-)

Janet has provided us with another week's question and fun. Play along?

1. They've said the hubs arm is doing pretty well. And that they're surprised at how well the healing is going YAY!
2. I quite enjoy going to the fitness studio, the hubs and I have talked about this - how they've (the owners) just made it into a place you want to be. They're welcoming smiles are a great way to start any workout
3. What is the purpose of algebra? I'm pretty sure I've never used it in life!.
4. I don't watch a lot of tv shows.
5. Eyes are seriously what attract me to people ~ kind eyes, sexy eyes, honest loving eyes
6. it's always quite scary to hear ut oh coming from my nephew "a" it could seriously mean anything from spilled milk to seeing a car accident to having clocked his brother
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going with my niece to pick up her friend from the airport, tomorrow my plans include gym in the morning, then cleaning with a friend (she's going on vacation and I suggested we clean and get her house perfect so that she will come back to calmness rather than chaos and Sunday, I want to go to the gym in the morning and clean my own house and sort and organize my Christmas decorations and put them away and put up the winter décor!

what are you doing this weekend?
I love this picture of the poodle because I swear he (his eyes) are saying "dad you woke me up to take yet a another picture of me?"

At some point you give up

On sleep that is!

I started trying to fall asleep at 8 (both the hubs and I were exhausted) but here It is 1:56 and I'm still WIDE awake. I think it may be time to say uncle and realize that there is no sleep for me tonight.

That's okay, sitting by the glow of the tree and crocheting a scarf for my favorite man isn't a bad way to spend a night. And really I can rest tomorrow! We have a pretty low key day ahead of us. Maybe stopping by my niece's house to drop off gifts in the morning and going to my sister's in the afternoon!

I'm pretty pumped to give one of my nieces her gift (the bacon scarf a couple of posts back) and I think my sister will like what I got her (a set of plates with a lodge theme - very much her house) and I'm kind of excited about a clock I got the hubs (it holds all the state quarters) and a few other gifts. I (as always) went overboard this year but I really tried to get gifts I thought were super personal to each recipient.

And I'm super excited to put the poodle in his Christmas jammies and watch him open his stocking. Rumor has it that the big guy in the red suit bought him: carrots! A nylabone. And lots of squeaky toys!! It will be a glorious Christmas at my house!

And hopefully at your home too.

what are you most looking forward to for Christmas?

Friday!

As always this is the fabulousness of Janet

This week, same as last year, I'm going to give you a choice of fill-ins OR a different kind of fill-in (or both). A friend emailed me a list where you have to identify Christmas songs by the initials of the first words of the first line of each song. If you'd like to play along, great! if you just want to do the regular Fill-Ins, that's perfectly fine, too! And...here we go!

1. Ahhhh I colored my hair and no longer have roots and 5 shades of color
2. I have been preparing Christmas cookie platters for all the neighbors
3. Creating a flower arrangement always makes me feel happy.
4. what's your favorite form of relaxation.
5. Kick start I totally don't get the kick start theory... Just start it now.
6. as far as the end of the world I'm still here, and if you're reading this you are too
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging in WITH THE HUBS and watching Christmas movies, tomorrow my plans include I have 3 classes at the gym and I want to deliver the cookies I've made and Sunday, I want to get in 2 classes and maybe a mani and facial (I'll give these to myself {I have a post working in this})

What are you doing this weekend?

What! A! Weekend!!

Well, I was actually looking forward to Monday morning this weekend to say how fun a time I'd had! I mean Friday I went out the the nephews and looked at lights! Yay!!

Saturday I had some great classes at the gym (that's a daily thing but I love it anyways AND I got three orders for necklaces from the one I made the owner she kept telling everyone who complimented her on it that I made and sold them) and then Saturday night I went to the Newport mansions to hear Christmas carols and a concert! Fabulous! Never have I been to the mansions before - twas pretty amazing! Note the poinsettia tree - it's made from real poinsettia. My florist self was geeking out 100% and sending pics to my sister (also a florist).

Sunday started with 3 classes at the gym (the norm) and was SUPPOSED to be my little family going to celebrate Christmas with my nephew.

But Friday night while I was happily looking at lights the hubs was doing an indoor obstacle course. Or... Attempting it! He fell! 18'! His wrist hurt but we all figured it'd be fine in a couple days... Well Sunday morning I woke him up when I got back from working out (he is LAZY) because his arm was MORE swollen and starting to look bowed!! Off to the walk-in we went. His arm is broken in 4 spots (well now I've returned from the surgeon it's shattered with more than 6 pieces floating) and his ulna has detached from his wrist. Oops! They put a splint on it and we meet with a surgeon today. This is slightly stressful as his job doesn't offer insurance and thus he has none. We will figure it out I'm certain!

To not leave this on a crappy note - we still went to the nephews house and they loved their gifts and we had fun celebrating their first Massachusetts Christmas with them ;-) AND while I was out my awesome niece dropped by with a swag she had made for our front door! Check out how awesome it is!!!

how was your weekend?

Friday fill ins - guess what I went out!

http://fridayfillins.blogspot.com/2012/12/its-come-to-my-attention-that-friday_13.html?m=1

1. Oh, my just got a picture of the hubs all wrapped up apparently he fell off an obstacle course - this'll be fun (not) as he whines for months.
2. get your shopping done sooner, rather than later! (I'm long done and wrapped)
3. Buy one, get one used to OWN me who even cares if I don't need it!
4. for sure for that one I've changed positively! (Now I'm like do we NEED it?)
5. Soon, I'm going to live in an empty house according to my sister (who I keep offering stuff to before I donate it)
6. do you wish on shooting stars? (I do - but I also talk to the heavens soooooo)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to look at the christmas lights with my nephews and their mom (we thought it was cooler than the boys did) tomorrow my plans include spin, barre and yoga, then going to a house concert in RI and Sunday, I want to rest, but instead we will be celebrating Christmas with part of my family!

What are your holiday plans?

And I know the picture does match but I'm hella proud of that bacon scarf

Christmas meme

Here's a fun meme I got from http://raeshadrz.blogspot.com/2012/12/ive-been-so-mia-here-lately-im-having.html


1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Peppermint tea (I'm foreshadowing I'm a failure at this one ;-)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Neither he puts them in stockings

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Depends on the year. This year it's jewel toned lights on the tree but I haven't plugged them in yet

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Whenever I'm in the mood

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Used to be my sister's chili

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Caroling

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
What? I still believe in Santa. He lives in our hearts and will always be real to me:) (her answer but its perfect so I'm keeping it)

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Yes - pajamas

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?
With the hubs and the poodle

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
I like snow as long as I can be warm

12. Can you ice skate?
Badly

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I'm not a big gift person. But I'd say my favorite was the year my niece made me a book of her poems

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
I don't know

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Hot apple cider

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Bringing gifts to the nursing home on Christmas morning

17. What tops your tree?
A silver ornament thing

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Giving!

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?
YUM!

20. Favorite Christmas movie?
Charlie Brown Christmas

21. Saddest Christmas Song?
Christmas shoes (no really I have to pull over to listen to it)

22. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Joy to the world (because its the last song we sing at midnight mass before we walk out into a holy world)

tell me one of your favorite Christmas traditions

And really, isn't my dog painfully cute? Ugh

30 days question 15

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

Hmmmm. I think I'd be a butterfly :-)
They're Beautiful and free and light and no worries and they can get away from people if they want and everybody is happy to see them!

what about you? What would you be? And why??