Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Just because you can doesn't mean you should

I have a niece who says that exact phrase to me periodically, usually when I am thinking in a disordered manner. These jeans bring this phrase out more than ANY other thing.

These jeans. They are "my jeans" we all have that thing that is just well us. These are my thing!

The thing about them is they are my "skinny jeans" when I fit into them my ED is happy, when I don't my treatment team is happy (I'm not exactly sure where *I* fit in this equation just yet). I know exactly what weight I need to be to wear them. I know the exact number(s) where they fit/are too small/are too big. They are my ED security blanket, so to say. We jest that my disordered self prays at the alter of the jeans (not too far from the truth).

The other thing about them is they are old (hand me downs from another niece) and wearing thin. I worry about the knees each time I wear them and each and every precious thread every time I wash and dry them I say a little prayer.

Well the other day heather did a post on a wreath she made from recycled fabric (she even mentions old jeans)
And it set off a little spark in my head like "hmmm maybe I ought to make something beautiful for my home from them rather than keep them as a prison for my ED" and the thought has stuck there...
Missy recently got rid of a pair of triggering pants and I was so impressed and proud of her (okay and I admit slightly jealous of her bravery)
I don't think I could give or even throw away my favorite jeans but can I make something out of them? That'd be kind of cool I think... Will it free me or send me spiraling? I don't know and that's kind of (ok really really) scary!

***so have you ever done anything like this?***
would you?

Opinions please


Chubby McGee said...

I think you should make a throw pillow out of them. It'll be a symbol of a new kind of comfort your skinny jeans can bring you that will prevent you from spiraling. You're strong! Make yourself a non-usable reminder of where you've been and where you're going. :)

Laura said...

I like this post and I love Ms. McGee's comment. I throw pillow or maybe a chew toy for Dobs?

And yes, I've done things like this. This was made when I couldn't write or tell and had a lot of thoughts about giving up.

I've also made stuff out of important things and then left it where someone else could claim it.

Missy said...

I like the idea of crafting them into an art to celebrate.
I gotta admit...I got rid of some pants...but you should see my closet! I have much work to do.

I really, really, really encourage you to do it...I really don't think it will send you spiraling at all. It will feel good, ultimately, from my experience. Out of sight out of mind....but wait until the spirit moves you and ACT FAST...I was lucky the donation spot was two seconds away...but if you have to just throw them away. In a dumpster.
Drive away.

Nicole, RD said...

I think you should toss them! If they bring back demands and insights to your ED, they're not worth it :)

Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner