Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Just because you can doesn't mean you should
I have a niece who says that exact phrase to me periodically, usually when I am thinking in a disordered manner. These jeans bring this phrase out more than ANY other thing.
These jeans. They are "my jeans" we all have that thing that is just well us. These are my thing!
The thing about them is they are my "skinny jeans" when I fit into them my ED is happy, when I don't my treatment team is happy (I'm not exactly sure where *I* fit in this equation just yet). I know exactly what weight I need to be to wear them. I know the exact number(s) where they fit/are too small/are too big. They are my ED security blanket, so to say. We jest that my disordered self prays at the alter of the jeans (not too far from the truth).
The other thing about them is they are old (hand me downs from another niece) and wearing thin. I worry about the knees each time I wear them and each and every precious thread every time I wash and dry them I say a little prayer.
Well the other day heather did a post on a wreath she made from recycled fabric (she even mentions old jeans)
And it set off a little spark in my head like "hmmm maybe I ought to make something beautiful for my home from them rather than keep them as a prison for my ED" and the thought has stuck there...
Missy http://missymiller.wordpress.com recently got rid of a pair of triggering pants and I was so impressed and proud of her (okay and I admit slightly jealous of her bravery)
I don't think I could give or even throw away my favorite jeans but can I make something out of them? That'd be kind of cool I think... Will it free me or send me spiraling? I don't know and that's kind of (ok really really) scary!
***so have you ever done anything like this?***