30 day challenge question 24

"favorite movie and why"

Is this a real question?
Who has a single favorite movie...

I recently saw (and loved) water for elephants... I've literally been telling everybody I know to go see that movie! It is one of the few movies that's almost as good as the book!

Eat pray love was another really good book to movie adaptation (and it totally doesn't hurt that my girl crush Julia Roberts was in it)

This is it is another I can watch over and over - I love listening to all the dancers be so excited! People having their dreams come true makes me happy!

I really loved burlesque too and can't wait for it to come out so I can buy it on iTunes

And my childhood favorite was all ET all the time (I saw it 12 times in the theater)

+++what's a movie you've watched recently and liked??+++

30 day challenge question 23

"5 famous male guys I find attractive"

Okay before I even start can we just all agree I have odd taste in men? Ie they are all very different! If you're wondering what my "it" thing is - it's eyes and all of them have awesome ones!

Michael Anderson (a Boston storyteller)
+his eyes tell even more stories than he does. And he's so smart and you can read that in there too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMijTX60r5w&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Josh freaking Beckett
(hello hottie pitcher)
+he had the most intense eyes on a man and I swoon each time I see him get ready to pitch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9do3AZlnlw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Teddy bruschi
Best! Ever! New England patriot! (my blog do NOT disagree with me)
+his eyes are just pure love! I want to snuggle him!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgmGca0Gkh4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Will Smith
Omg he is literally one of the founding members of my 5 list! Everybody knows him, everybody loves him!
+his eyes are kind and funny and sweet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTpnqZXW5bE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

And lastly...

Chris medina!
American idols loss and america's sweetheart!
+his eyes, his pores, his everything shoots out the compassion in him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQIR2VeobGE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I KNOW this is a lot if minutes of links but really they're all worth it!

+++so what's your "it" thing in a SO+++

30 day challenge question 22

"how have you changed in the last 2 years"

The last few years have been my hardest but I would say that in the last maybe 6 months I have changed a lot.

I have gone from making recovery a goal to a destination... What's the difference there you ask? Well I feel like goals can easily be changed whereas my destination can't! It's not a matter of if I'll recover but WHEN! and that's a pretty big change :-)
Next is that I have really started to fully trust hubster (a man who holds your hair while your sick to your stomach and tells you you're beautiful at the same time is pretty amazing) and well there's pupster who brings out the child in me and helps me find reasons to live daily!!! And he brought me to the woods where I've found my piece of sanity!

+++what's been a recent change you're proud of+++

30 day challenge question 21

"one of your favorite shows"

Oooh this is easy since I don't watch much tv and I love this show!

House!

I am in love with house the show, House the character, and Hugh Laurie

The reason I love the show is it's never the surface reason that is the problem and I feel like that is so real... How many times in your life have you been like "I'm depressed" and had the ONLY problem be the depression? It never is you always have to dig deeper - get to the uncomfortable stuff to find out what's really going on (wow totally written like someone who has been in therapy for ummm ever). And I like that house has to dig through it all to get to the answer too! I also have to admit that Hugh Laurie is definitely on my 5 list sooooo the eye candy doesn't hurt. IN. THE. LEAST.

+++So what is your favorite show? And why???+++

30 day challenge question 20

"how important is education"

Honestly I am rather obsessed with education - that "piece of paper" is the most important thing to me. A friend of mine and I a while ago had a conversation that was about what's important an I was ALL about the education (she has her masters in nursing and the most I have is a certificate in floristry) and she was all about family (I'm married she's not) and we are each slightly jealous of one another!

I have other friends (I talk about degrees a lot) who tell me my life experience is invaluable - I want the paper!

And lastly my nieces... I tell each and every one of them to go to college get a degree "you don't want to end up like me" and HA one of them agreed but only in fear of being... Vegan!

+++so tell me (let me live vicariously through you) about your degree+++

30 day challenge question 19

"disrespecting your parents"

Hmmm this ones hard! I don't think you should disrespect your parents of course! But that said they shouldn't disrespect you either. Technically my bio father isn't dead but when people ask me about my parents I reply that they're gone. And will elaborate about my mother if need be. The difference is... My mother was a living warm respectful human. Bio father an ass... She deserves my respect and gets it. He does not and will not! being a sperm donor and a thorn in my side does not get you my respect!

+++do you respect your parents?+++

30 day challenge question 18

I need to take a moment before anything else to ask you to send a prayer, wish, good thought, or whatever it is you do. Yesterday Osama bin laden was killed (yay) HOWEVER my nephew is over in Afghanistan and they are predicting some groups over there will be angry (no doubt) and there will be a lot of unrest! Can you please send out into the universe that no more blood be shed but specially my nephew make it home safe and sound, his tour is almost over (July 4th) and he has 2 young boys waiting for their daddy to come home!

"your beliefs"

I believe what you put into this world you get out! If you put your best self out into the universe you will get other people's best selves back. If you are cruel and uncaring that too will come back to you!!

+++give me an example of a time you extended your best self+++

30 day challenge question 17

"your highs and lows of the past year"

Hmmph I just got a low as I went to type this but who knows maybe it'll end up being the highest high!

The house hubster and I had our heart set on sold yesterday :-(

So let's start with the lows and that way we can end on a good note, shall we?

My health hasn't been great
My recovery slipped big time (I am still refusing to call this a relapse!)
Money has all but killed us
We got SLAMMED with taxes
Hubs job cut his hours and pay
We've had more stress than we can handle!

The good!!!!!!!!
We are closer as a team than we have ever been!
Pupster continues to make our days happy and our family complete
I have (in limited fashion) reconnected with my sisters
We have decided to sell our house and buy ourselves something more affordable
And really at the end of the day we are surrounded by live and what more could we want!

Can you all cross your fingers that our current home sells and we find something perfect fast? I'm ready to move on!

+++what have you had that started as a low and ended as a high?+++

30 day challenge question 16 and some ramblings

"your views on main stream music"

Ha! Hubs and I were JUST talking about this! When we got married (8 years ago) I listened to Garth Brooks (and that's about it).

Now
My favorites are:
Lady gaga
Black eyed peas
Bruno mars
Danny gokey
Michael Jackson
Celtic woman
And so many more

They're all pretty main stream but they all have a good beat and make me smile - I really don't and won't listen to music that makes me angry... I don't get it! So I guess I like main stream music...

So in other places (aka my life) I kind of feel like I'm in this really odd space. I'm sort of numb but at the same time hyper sensitive. Like I can't think about my body (but anyone with ed or body image issues knows I also can't get it off my mind) because I hate it so much. And I want to fix my thinking but I'm not really DOING anything to make that happen...

I'm again really afraid of people and am re going back to the woods for my daily walks. I skipped therapy last week and tried this week and got a big old no get in here... And what's weird is my therapist mentioned he thought I was doing poorly and then the next day my psychiatrist says she thinks I'm doing so much better and I'm like...

And today I am supposed to be going to see my niece compete and it's already starting (the panic) so I'm like well if you go you can use behaviors... Are you kidding me? When does this stop?

Speaking of stopping I'd better before I scare away the two readers I have :-)

+++who do you listen to? And who makes you change the radio station?+++

30 day challenge question 15

"your favorite tumblrs"

I am pretty sure they mean tumblr the blogging website but seeing as I've never been there I am showing you my niece a gymnast who is very muchly my favorite tumbler!!!

She is really good, and tomorrow I am going to watch her in another competition :-) she has been doing very well... Often landing on top of the podium!

+++so tell me, do you have a favorite tumbler or tumblr??? And should I be checking out tumblr?+++

30 day challenge question 14

"your earliest memory"

I have to admit I was really excited for this one! Not because my memory is all that exciting or even that early but simply because it is a testament to a life long friend.

As a child I had seizures as a result I have very few memories of my childhood (often when people friend me on facebook I ask my friend Kerri how I know them) so I thought back to my childhood and I came up with two memories. I sent them to her with the request of how old was I when xxx and she replied... This amazed me! No "why?" no commentary at all just the answer! A great part of old friends they know the the stories will be theirs in the long run anyway!

So we decided that my oldest memory is a fight Kerri and I got in (well not the fight the making up) and that I was sick of being mad at each other so when the ice cream truck came I said "I'll buy you an ice cream if you'll be my best friend"

Must've worked she's still my dear friend all these years later!!!

+++did you have a "get out of jail" card with friends?+++

30 day challenge question 13

"somewhere you'd like to move or visit"
(okay I know the photo isn't the 30 day challenge poster but you can look down one post for that if you'd like to see it AGAIN!)

I feel like this is 2 different questions!

I would like and will happily move anywhere that these two guys go! They say home is where your heart is and mine lies with my boys!!!

As for where I want to visit I have a list (who doesn't?)
Tuscany! This is my dream - always has been always will be
Disney (again) it's my happy place
The redwoods (I love to hike imagine how cool it'd be amongst those trees)
Prince Edward island (it's where my nana was born)
Iceland (my parents lived there)
grand canyon
Austria (for my favorite breed of horse)
And
A private island for just the three of us to explore and enjoy!

+++what about you? Where do you want to go+++

30 day challenge question 12

"bullet your day"

I'm bulleting yesterday because how will I post this if I'm doing it?

-up at 4:00 sick to my stomach
-up again at 7:15 for the day
-moisturize and brush teeth
-get out the door to the dentist
-arrive at dentist, sit in waiting room playing words with friends
-get 19 X-rays
-meet with dentist (who I think is planning her next vacation with my mouth)
-meet financial lady who tells me I need $5500 worth of work... (thank you years of purging)
-laugh and make an appointment for a cleaning ($130)
-drive home wondering how I'll look toothless
-meet the stager for the house (yup decided to put the house on the market)
-find out we have to paint every room (throw up in my mouth a little for the second time)
-start cleaning out stuff that we won't be keeping
-get the worst headache
-take a bath
-take a nap
-get up, stress purge (sorry tmi but being honest)
-take pupster out for a walk (with the damn headache)
-get gas (omg)
-drive for some stress relief and then realize we can't afford that with gas $4 a gallon
-go home say hey to hubs and fall asleep ~8:00 (thinking the move might stress me to actual death)
-wake up take meds go back to bed

+++what was the best part of your day?+++

30 day challenge question 11

"put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up"

This one was hard! I never use my ipod anymore (thank you pandora) so i had to find it and charge it! But here you go (as a side note I often listen to the mj station on pandora)

Explain it to my heart
Remember the time (Michael Jackson)
I'm already there (lonestar) (this particular version is the soldier version where family members of deployed soldiers send them wishes - I cry like a baby every time)
From the bottom of my heart (wall flowers)
The girl is mine (Michael Jackson)
Where in the world (rockapella) (I love this and when I'm running this pushes me faster)
Mr right (Garth Brooks)
Hero (Paris Bennett)
Land of confusion (genesis) (blame Jim)
Save the last dance for me (Michael buble')

30 day challenge question 11

"put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up"

This one was hard! I never use my ipod anymore (thank you pandora) so i had to find it and charge it! But here you go (as a side note I often listen to the mj station on pandora)

Explain it to my heart
Remember the time (Michael Jackson)
I'm already there (lonestar) (this particular version is the soldier version where family members of deployed soldiers send them wishes - I cry like a baby every time)
From the bottom of my heart (wall flowers)
The girl is mine (Michael Jackson)
Where in the world (rockapella) (I love this and when I'm running this pushes me faster)
Mr right (Garth Brooks)
Hero (Paris Bennett)
Land of confusion (genesis) (blame Jim)
Save the last dance for me (Michael buble')

30 day challenge question 10

"discuss your first love and first kiss"

Love! Love is strange to me and is it REALLY what they're asking for? Or do they mean my first crush?

I'm going with crush! And although I always say it was hubster I am actually not sure if it was him or if it was ...Freddy miller... Freddy was either mentally retarded or down syndrome (pretty sure he was retarded but anyone who'd remember has gone to the big party in the sky) and he was in my mother's class and every day after school I'd go wait for her to finish teaching so she could drive me home! And I fell in "love" with Freddy miller! He brought out the child in me (I was a very sad and introverted 8 or 9 year old) we'd play, we'd laugh and for 25 minutes each day I was the most appropriately named person on the face of the earth!

Freddy didn't just bring this out in me, he brought it out in all the lives he so gently touched! When he got moved to the high school (before me) kids from main stream classes would flock to him! He was... Our angel! When I aged up to high school he was no longer my love but still my dear friend!

As classes graduated many would stop by on college visits to say hello to a favored teacher and probably bring a little toy to Freddy!

I was a junior the year Freddy died (I lost my bff that year too) his funeral was PACKED! But each of us knew that our Freddy knew we loved him and he loved us back! He was as my mom called him love on legs :-)

He was a beautiful soul - and many of my town's girls first "love"!

For my first kiss? I don't even remember so I'm going with it was from some boy not worth remembering and it sucked!!

+++so tell me who was your first crush?+++

30 day challenge question 9

"how do you hope your future will be like"

Can I answer all sunshine puppy dogs and rainbows?

Yeah probably not and no doubt I'd get bored with that anyway!

I'd like a future where I am working towards goals. Where I have a direction (right now I flutter between a ton of things that I want to do with my life), where I am mostly happy but can deal with disappointment. Where I can travel (can't now because of money restraints and fear), where I can trust and love (other than just pupster), and where I'm proud to be me!

How's that for my dreaming answer?

+++what's your wish for the future?+++

30 day challenge question 8

"a moment you felt most satisfied with your life"

There are many moments I've felt satisfied with my life.

Riding my old horse in a parade at the big E and being asked to carry the American flag.

Walking in the woods with pup and seeing him bound back to me.

Finishing the Jimmy fund marathon walk.

The first time I made a pearl necklace with knotted silk.

Each of those moments has made me feel satisfied, as though my life were important... They each give me "warm fuzzies" in a different way...

+++what about you what makes you satisfied with your life and how can you incorporate more of it into your life?+++

30 day challenge question 7

"your zodiac sign and if it fits your personality"

I am a Gemini

They say the twins have 2 very distinct personalities.

For me I'd agree, I'm very black or white... I'm either extremely happy or angry/sad/whatever beyond words. I'm either incredibly flighty (my add kicking in) or so focused that the world could fall down around me. So I think that is how I embody the twins!

A funny story I met a friend for the first time at a horse show - we chatted for about two minutes and he was like "you're a Gemini right?" I was incredibly freaked and agreed he laughed and told me it came from every pore of my being :-)

+++so what about you (cheesy pick up line coming) what's your sign??+++

30 day challenge question 6

"write 30 interesting facts about me"

Well I'm touched that you think that there could be 30 interesting things about me! Here goes nothing...

1. I love the heat and live for it
2. My house burned down when I was 19
3. I was an exchange student to costa rica
4. I don't like vacations (I prefer my own house)
5. I married my first crush
6. I'm obsessed with my dog (they never said they had to be unknown facts)
7. The woman I call my godmom isn't "technically" my godmother (because she already had 7 kids and my mother thought 1 more was a burden - ha! Dumb logic if you ask me)
8. I got kicked out of high school and sent to an alternative school (where I was the only student to have not done time)
9. I've never done an illegal drug
10. 2008 was the worst year of my life
11. My body thinks it's about 100 most days!
12. I prefer my husband's 23 year old car to my 5 year old car and the only benefit to having been so sick lately is he's let me take it over
13. I make lots of jewelry (lots)
14. I've fractured my back TWICE
15. And yet the accident I've had that scared me most was falling off my bike and scoffing my elbow and knee
16. I love going to the post office
17. More than anything I want to sell my house and move with hubs and pup to a cute little house I've named the cardboard box
18. I buy hubs a balloon every month
19. I can't wait to learn about honey bees (hopefully Saturday)
20. I'm afraid of the dark
21. I get insanely proud of myself when I'm doing a new/hard craft and I make whomever I'm with look every few minutes
22. I think acupuncture is a gift from heaven
23. I love my nieces and nephews literally more than life!
24. I like to walk in the woods and around the city! I think you're pretty much invisible both places
25. I ski - I love it and I'm terrified of it!
26. I rarely cry
27. Intolerance makes me crazy!
28. I love massages but hate being touched
29. I don't have a "best" friend (unless you include hubster) but I have great friends!
30. I collect snow globes (but have for so long that now I'm super picky)

+++what are 3 (or 30 if you're brave) interesting facts about you?+++