Just random

I have so many thoughts running through my head lately. Partly about this blog, I really don't know where I want it to go... I am honestly struggling in my recovery and think that this blog is something I need as a part of it. But what kind of blog is it?
A healthy living blog? No, not now but hopefully someday!
A craft blog? Again no, crafting is a part if me but I will occasionally go easily a month without doing a single one
A pet blog? Doubt it, I do love pupster and the horse but I'm not sure that that's what I need...
I think it's going to be a joy blog a little of me on the web.
I asked for a writing class for Christmas I would like to write well make sense and have opinions and stories and yes giveaways!

For today;
I am thankful for the ability to keep fighting

And as for the cake above? Hubster's birthday is thanksgiving but I had a party for him on Saturday - I made a cake (I was so proud of me) the theme was star wars - so yoda it was... My 4 year old nephew stopped by and informed me "that's not yoda! It's shrek silly aunty"

Photo for etsy

I am excited to be getting a profile of my friends dig for her and this is the picture I have for the artist (if it isn't good enough let me know and I will take another)

Missing the point?

I am a true believer in alternative medicines. Today I woke up physically mentally and spiritually just off. When 1:00 hit and other than a run on the treadmill I had done nothing I knew I needed to do something (ha! That sentence makes mo sense yet says it all) so I called to see if acupuncture clinic could fit me in - and they could! And so here I lay not being restful but instead reading my google reader and blogging...
Do you think I am missing the point here?

What about you? What R some things you could do to better help yourself?

Well I am off to relax

Day 11

Today was all about smiles - see it is a picture frame quilt so it says "smiles are
Perfect"

Day 10

I left this one at the bank. Banking stresses me so I wanted to give someone a highlight while they are there. And leaving it certainly lifted my day

Day 9

I figure that everyone needs to remember they are great!

Day 8

I am loving the operation beautiful note a day project - though a couple days I have missed and had to do two the next day! Today I put it on every bloggers love:
Pumpkin by Libby

Day 7

Believe in yourself! At the grocery store

Day 6

Today's amuses me :-) get it - the tag says you rock and it is a rock water fountain!

My macaroon Monday

Well it certainly isn't a macaroon but it is something I have wanted to create for a while but didn't know how. Julie, Evan, and Heather's fun macaroon Monday http://www.hangrypants.com/2010/10/macaroon-monday/ gave me the impetus I needed to create a warm fruit soup...

In the summer I am all about the homemade Popsicle but come cooler weather I only want soups. Even fruit is not appealing so I have long thought a warmed fruit soup would be delish but all the recipes I saw just weren't for me.

Yesterday I made my own!
To recreate you need:
32 ounces of apple juice (I used light)
1 1/2 cup sliced peaches (I used half a bag of frozen)
1/4 cup sweetener (I used splenda)
1/4 cup frozen blueberries
1 1/2 teaspoons of cinnamon
1 cup coconut milk (I used trader joes light)

Place all ingredients in a small crockpot for 8-10 hours and then immersion blend. For the hubster I portioned out a cup and added in 1/4 cup old fashioned oats (uncooked) and let set for 5 minutes so there was a little bite to it. For me I drank it plain. It was SO GOOD! trust me you want this in your rotation!

Day 5

Today's was a "calm" tea left on a restaurant table that I wrote keep calm + enjoy life operationbeautiful.com

Day 4

I love that this pit looks as though he's smiling and the note says smiles are beautiful

Day 3

This one also says you are amazing (I need creative ideas) but that seemed appropriate for a display of the museum of science

Do I make you proud?

Do you know that song? Taylor hicks sings it. Hubster loves it! And he lives it! The other day we went to screemfest at canobie lake park and I am such a chicken and they were selling glow necklaces for $5 so the "monsters" wouldn't get you. Well hubster practically skipped me over to the vendor. He really didn't care that if they weren't going to scare me and he was with me he was going to lose out on that experience too. When I pointed that out he said I vowed to keep you safe from everyone I can and these characters are some of them! I snuggled him and he whispered that that was way better than anything a theme park could offer him! Yup he made me proud!

I wanted to give him a little something and I KNEW just what to offer! I went on the above roller coaster with him! We sat in the front seat and I only offered one blood curdling scream he told me how proud he was :-D

The rest of the night we all just hung out having a great time until I suggested the 2 boys do the haunted house without us so they could get the full effect (we all had gone through one - hubster was a rockstar who held my hand pointed out my necklace accepted my tightly closed eyes and told me a story of princesses as I squirmed through praying to die rather than go through this). They went but I got frequent texts making sure I was okay (I need to add here that if I wasn't truly afraid of every part of this - with reason - he wouldn't have been so cautious he does NOT BABY me and I wouldn't want him to)

And over all he continued to make me proud!

So how about you... What are your fears? If you are in a relationship does your SO accept them?

Day 2

Today I wrote in the back of a receipt at a cool boutique and left it at the register - I realized though that I forgot to put operationbeautiful.com on the bottom!

Where are some of your favorite places you have left ob notes?

Day 1

My goal for November is to put out an operation beautiful note and then blog it!

This one says smiles are awesome

Longing

To belong...

This is a topic I have never broached before.

I am seriously just dying to belong.

Recently, as I looked through my contacts on my phone I realized how little I belong with these people who are or were "my friends"! They all seem to have moved in other directions - kids and family (and most don't consider pupster a real boy -- silly people), or they are single and doing the dating thing (and even IF hubster were up with that I have to go with the "it takes me hours to get up the courage for doc appointments and therapy" reality of my life), or they are excelling in careers and I am at home working out.

I have a few friends I met in different in-patients and they are probably the people I am closest to. One of them was recently readmitted to the ward where I met her, and we were talking about her phone # and that it was familiar and one of us must have been in that bed before and for some reason this upset the hubster (he felt like we should at least know what rooms we have been in) and just a little bit I felt like a _______ (not sure what the right word is? Misfit? Outsider? What?) in my own marriage. I had to wait until the hurt sting went away and then I said something to him and he apologized fir hurting my feelings, but really should he have? I doubt it.

Where am I going with this? Idk, I guess my question for you is how do you belong? Is it a feeling? Is it a commonality? Is it a choice?

Wild horses couldn't keep me from entering

Carly's http://swimrunom.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/great-blogger-pumpkin-carving-contest/ pumpkin carving contest!

I had the best time carving these rearing horses! I only wish there was a third one... I at my "hey day" had three - we called them my ladies. "off to see the ladies" "the ladies are waiting" "the ladies send their love"...

Then my beloved Cla died of colic, and my Needles got her wings on Easter (she was 13 days shy of 43) and I am left with the imp

So I guess it is appropriate that there are only two horses here they are my rearing ladies from heaven!

Happy Halloween

Savory scones!

Tonight I decided to make hubster a turkey dinner (full disclosure here it's an on-Cor family meal - I don't eat meat I am not doing whatever it is you do to a bird) and in the side I roasted some carrots in a splash of coconut oil (I get the obsessions now) and then I thought to myself "self hubster needs a bread to go with this" and since there wasn't time for the bread machine to do it's magic I figured I would make scones (I thought that sounded prettier than biscuits) and I looked online but I didn't have cheese or baking powder so... I made up my own from a few I found!

2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon powdered buttermilk
7 tablespoons of butter
~1/2 cup salsa (I had made it a couple nights ago)
1 egg

Mix flour through salt. Mix in butter (I used a fork most recipes suggested your fingers). Set aside.
In a separate bowl mix buttermilk egg and salsa and pour into butter mixture.
Combine.
Make a round shape and score into however many pieces you want this to be. I made 8. Cook at 400* until golden brown ~ 22 minutes!

Enjoy hubster sure is!

The things that are difficult

Are there things standing in your way from being the person you want to be?

Is it an illness? Mental or physical?

For me it is often a compulsion with numbers... All numbers, I used to count 6s and 9s as a way of relaxing and then it was transferred to calories and the scale.

Now it is most often time. Time on the treadmill, time until hubster gets home, days until I see the doctor (though that ones in dread). Anyway, recently I had my labs drawn and it came back with me having high cholesterol and it triggered every bad behavior I know. I have spent the last 4 (again with the numbers) days fighting through this with the help of pupster - we have gone on countless walks and he hasn't minded one bit my tears on his shoulder. Ironically while in the woods yesterday I got bit by a tick and now have an appointment tomorrow with the doc (you know the person I was most avoiding) to check for Lyme!

But the good part of all this is the sights I have gotten to see... Including these turkeys who were certainly taking their damn sweet time getting out of my way. Heaven knows I wasn't going to hurry them I am still scared of birds after all...