Sunday, October 24, 2010
This is a topic I have never broached before.
I am seriously just dying to belong.
Recently, as I looked through my contacts on my phone I realized how little I belong with these people who are or were "my friends"! They all seem to have moved in other directions - kids and family (and most don't consider pupster a real boy -- silly people), or they are single and doing the dating thing (and even IF hubster were up with that I have to go with the "it takes me hours to get up the courage for doc appointments and therapy" reality of my life), or they are excelling in careers and I am at home working out.
I have a few friends I met in different in-patients and they are probably the people I am closest to. One of them was recently readmitted to the ward where I met her, and we were talking about her phone # and that it was familiar and one of us must have been in that bed before and for some reason this upset the hubster (he felt like we should at least know what rooms we have been in) and just a little bit I felt like a _______ (not sure what the right word is? Misfit? Outsider? What?) in my own marriage. I had to wait until the hurt sting went away and then I said something to him and he apologized fir hurting my feelings, but really should he have? I doubt it.
Where am I going with this? Idk, I guess my question for you is how do you belong? Is it a feeling? Is it a commonality? Is it a choice?