30 things day 19

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

Well that's a weird question! I don't know - I haven't been everywhere. Of the places I've been I most did not want to leave Jamaica - it was warm and beautiful. I'd probably (maybe?) miss the seasons though. I dream of retiring to Lincoln NH and opening a very small scale B and B so I guess I'd say Lincoln. You know- with a vacation home in Jamaica (and a private jet).

So.... Onto real life, I have a friend (who oft drives me nuts haha) but Monday she checked in to be sure I'm ok. Asked me if I wanted to reminisce about mom and was basically just available to me all day even though she had a pretty significant event going on in her own life (she bought a new car!!!!! And had all the fun/stress that goes along with it) she makes me want to be a better person\friend. And she reminded me to send a balloon up to momma. Sweet huh? She worked hard to make a sad day a nice one!

Well I'm off to bake muffins Lola (the corolla) is getting an oil change today and I love the guys at my mechanic and they love when I bake for them!

so where do you want to live?

Still missing

This morning I got up (as I do every morning) at some ungodly hour (today 2 AM) and settled down to crochet. The hubs and poodle will be asleep for hours to come (yes as a matter of fact I am jealous that they can sleep through the night when I get 2 or 3 hours before the brain turns on).

Today, however, is NOT the same as every other day. It is the five year anniversary of my mom's passing. It's weird, I still wait for her to come home. I'd do pretty much anything to hear her off-key singing. To have another hug.

I am shocked that I'm not better (or dead - I've "played" with my body way too much).

Today I will:
Walk with poodle
Go to therapy
And get a good sweat on
I will clean my house
And I will breathe

But it's so weird that I really still don't feel like I live without her.

Here's some pics from my old blog when I posted about her dying

and really hug your loved ones today! I know I will

Windy Friday

So I had a dream last night (and no I'm not mlk - his dreams inspire generations, mine make me want to punch people) I had wrapped a present in fabric (I think long sleeved shirts) that I kept tying in knots, I think I was trying to be creative (I blame this on my 3 sleepless hours from 1-4 where I perused Pinterest).
But the hubs WOULD NOT stop teasing me about this. I woke up and seriously thought about waking him up to give him a piece of my mind (or a knuckle sandwich) but I decided against that and am instead sharing the story with you. #winning (for him at least NOTSOMUCH for you)

It's Friday and I'm filling and you should Play along here

1. Wow, this is ending up being a wordy post as I'm hella opinionated today
2. I hate trivia (I mean as in trivial pursuit - I like when people give me random facts) last weekend we had friends over for games the man wanted to play trivial pursuit his wife was like "Joy hates that game" ironically we ended up playing a game I liked even less!
3. Finally, I'm warm, now I HATE to be one of "those people" who complains about the weather but... 8* can kiss my ____.
4. staying in other than when i go to the gym is all right with me but it's making the poodle depressed and led me to googling Zoloft for dogs (see depressed poodle pics - you totally would have googled it too)
5. Sweet or savory: I hate that I always make up my own answer to shit but sour.
6. I got lots of compliments on a pair of leggings I wore the other day: they're new to me but I don't think they are new I bought them on eBay for next to nothing
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin and trx tomorrow my plans include working on and hopefully mailing a gift to a friend and of course the gym and there's a rumor (aka the weather channel) that it might be warm enough to go out! and Sunday, I want to I'm going with the hubs to an adult puppet show (lord help me this does NOT sound like a joy thing) and I have Pilates in the morning.

Do you remember your dreams? I usually don't

30 days day 18

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
I wonder if the creator of this meme meant someone that I did actually forgive or if it can be Someone I'll never forgive?
Hmmmmm thinking... I'll go with the never forgive - my father not only cheating on my mother but feeling the need to TELL HER a couple if weeks before her death. I was FURIOUS and my kind momma? She just said to me "joy, did you think I didn't know? Of course I knew. And I'm going to die and he's going to be around for a time to come he needs to get rid of the guilt" and THAT is why she will always be a better person than I. She forgave, I cut him out of my life.

have you ever held a grudge? Are you a good forgiver?

Today's post is brought to you by insomnia Source

A celebration idea

Today is:
Martin Luther king day
It is also Inauguration Day 2013!

I can think of no better way to mark the occasion (whether you are celebrating or mourning) than to thank our veterans. So today as I watch the inauguration I will be writing valentines for vets. This is one of my favorite "volunteer" opportunities each year. I buy cute valentines (this years are the muppets! And I write them out.
I'll write tos like:
America's soldier
A very brave person
An American hero
My favorite soldier
A great American
A special soldier
Etc (I try to make as many different as possible)

And then I sign them with my first name and a little message like:
Your service mattered
Thank you
Thank you for risking you life for my freedom
Because of soldiers like you we are free
You're great
You are treasured for your service
Etc!

This is a really easy thing to do, so join me!
Here's a little info to find where to give them (or mail them)
Valentine's for veterans

Tired Friday

And...here we go! Thanks again Janet

1. I love the feeling of waking upin the morninggetting my crochet in and snuggling the poodle!

2. Seeing the hubs come to bed with me with a book to read me always brightens my day.

3. Jamaica!!!!!!!!!!!!! aka best vacation ever is what I will remember the most from 2012.

4. My favorite family recipe is either my mom's bread pudding or her banana bread

5. When I want to spoil myself I have a pedicure with cute colors.

6. grey's anatomy is my favorite TV show.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hang with the hubs and poodle tomorrow my plans include I signed up for a few classes at the gym and I need to take the poodle for a long walk and I really want to make some yogurt (I got a yogurt maker for Christmas) and Sunday, I want to go for a run with my friend Sara and then hit up Pilates and in the afternoon I will have the football game on and we are having friends over for games

What are your weekend plans?

30 things day 17

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Hmmmm the thing I MOST wish.... I'm not sure I have just one thing. I have lots of things

I wish I were fashionable (really sometimes I look at myself and heck I'm embarrassed to be seen with me)

I wish I were flexible (I mean I go to yoga 3 times a week you'd think it'd help)

I wish I was a better parallel parker (I can usually do it but there's a lot of stress and swears involved)

I wish I was better at graphic editing (I try but my brain doesn't work like that)

I wish I spoke another language fluently (again my brain = defunct)

But I don't wish I was better at snuggling the poodle - since that's what I do best in all the world! But he snores - in my ear!

what do you wish you were better at?

Friday

And...here we go!

1. Wake up you have a busy day ahead - that's what my alarm says. Too bad today I set it for 5:45PM
2. I've been watching 4 weddings lately and remembering all the fun we had.
3. Every picture I take of the poodle makes me fall more in love with him
4. there is little that is little too quiet.
5. Stay with your dreams they will carry you far
6. i would like to believe i will grow and change in a thousand ways.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spin tabata tomorrow my plans include going to the gym and to see les mis with a friend and Sunday, I want to go for a run I have 3 races coming up!

What are your weekend plans?

14 years in the blink of an eye

I am a very blessed human being. My sisters all gave birth to humans who I can consider some of my best friends.
Well 14 years ago today one of those humans gave birth to yet another human and made me a great aunt! She was young, I was young, my sister was young to be a grandmother but we were also very very lucky.
Without the birth of Alicia (poor kid has more names than the poodle - she answers to: Alicia, Alicia Bella, jabell, Ali-oops, Bella, and so much more) the hubs and I? Never would have happened!
I was fortunate, little girl lived right next door to me and graced me with her kindness and love frequently. She taught me how to eat my words (I wasn't all too excited to meet her; stark contrast to now when I'm counting down the minutes until I see her tonight at her birthday party). I got the honor of teaching her to read. Her first word was life... I cried :-)
She has grown as have I. But she will ALWAYS be my baby girl!
Happy birthday jabell! I love you so very much. And Chris? You make good humans!
Love you both and see you in T - 5 hours 25 minutes


are you an aunt? Isn't it the greatest "job" ever?

Sick day - Friday

Thanks Janet for another great week

1. Let me sleep, all I need is the poodle and a throat drop.
2. i love love love going through closets and drawers and throw stuff out (well really donate it)
3. Listen here: it matters not whether or not we agree we are still friends.
4. now that's what I am talking about!
5. When I was younger, I thought I would be a librarian, but then I learned how much school was entailed and I gave up the dream (kinda)
6. I almost never laugh!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to skipping the gym (gasp) and staying in and feeling like death, tomorrow my plans include dear heaven getting in 3 classes (but i have NO faith that i'll be off the sofa by then) and hopefully going to my friends goodbye party Sunday, I want to feel better!

What are you up to this weekend?

30 things day 17

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

I wish that I were a better writer. I want to be intriguing. I want things to be as funny as they are in my head. Or as poignant and touching as I feel they are. It's actually something I am thinking of going to take a course or two on...

what do you wish you were better at?